With all the bad things going on the world right now, it's hard to complain about a bad day. However, it is still possible, and there are some rough parenting days. Maybe the trick is to look at them with a sense of humor...or a really good glass of wine. Seeing as I don't have any of the latter on-hand right now, unless you count the cooking wine, I'll go with humor.
Today I needed to take the boys to Boston for their ENT appointments. I dread these appointments. They usually take a minimum of three hours. First we have to wait for the audiology test, then have the test, then wait to see the doctor, then see the doctor. This doesn't even take into account just trying to find the building in the first place and then driving my CRV through narrow alleys that were probably barely wide enough for one person on horseback in the 18th century.
After a good swim this morning, I came home and brought out the golden bribe. That's right the bribe of all bribes: the portable DVD player. Normally I'm not the type of parent who packs toys and snacks for a doctor's appointment. First of all, I have no interest in doing it. Second, my kids would much rather play with germy office toys than anything I bring, so rather than fight it, I just try to remember to have them use a wipe on their hands when we leave. Before you groan, let me just say that my older son has not been sick at all this year. My younger one hasn't had more than a mild cough. His "sick days" have been for the two times I kept him home from school to go to playdates. My approach to germ management apparently works. Knock on wood big time!
Seeing as ENT appointments are horrific at best, I not only packed the DVD player, I packed lunch as well. Just as I finished up, I heard squeals coming from the bathroom. Hmm..two boys+fighting+laughing+overflowing toilet= squeals. In their defense, the toilet had been acting funny since yesterday. Whether it was a Leggo or a number 2, I know that at least one of them had something to do with it. Unfotunately I didn't have time to do much more than turn off the water and throw down a bunch of towels. Yeah, gross I know. What are blogs though if not true confessions? I shut the door so that the cats wouldn't get in the bathroom.
Off we went to Boston. After a number of traffic jams, pokes, threats, and counts to 3, we made it to Storrow Drive. All of a sudden I saw someone looking right at me. Yes, there was a cyclist riding along side my car. I was so startled I dropped an F bomb derivative. Yes, the boys learned a new vocabulary word today. They seemed impressed. Let's hope that their teachers are as well if they use it. I'm kidding. Let's hope they don't use it.
After getting majorly lost...three times, we made it. The hearing tests went well. Their exams went well. However, when I asked the doctor about OS's "phlegmy noises" he had a blank look on his face. You know, the throat clearing, aheming, coughing, and snorting that I presumed were the result of a serious medical problem? The doctor laughed. He did know exactly what I was talking about and apparently has had more than one parent of a boy come convinced that there surely is something wrong with their son. It was what I had suspected: a bad habit. Apparently my use of the term "gross boy noises" is not medically accurate.
Fortunately that was the boys last visit!! Their ear tubes are gone, and their ears are free of unnatural holes. The doctor in fact commented on how healthy they both were. I beamed with pride. Then I followed his gaze and realized he was eyeing YS who was under the chair, quite possibly licking the floor. Rats! I had hoped he wouldn't notice that. He laughed.
We dropped OS off at school, and then YS and I headed home..where we found our neighbor's dogs chasing cars in the streets. I parked the car in her driveway, and we got the dogs to follow us to her house. Phew. Time to sit down for a minute or two of relaxation. Or so I thought. A different neighbor called asking if she could come over. I furtively looked around my house as if she could see me...um my house was not at it's best. Outside of the boarded up bathroom quite possibly reeking of pee, I hadn't had time to run the dishwasher, wipe the the table or really put anything away. Two minutes later she was in my kitchen. Thankfully she didn't need to use my bathroom.
I did have a nice conversation with her. She didn't seem to care about the state of my house. Then it was time to pick up OS up for school because part of my big time bribe included taking him to NEADS to pet puppies. I almost never pick OS up from school. Apparently it showed. There is a rumor that someone named Balex Melliot may have held up the pick up line because she was confused about where her son was waiting. A teacher may have commented that it was obvious that her son usually takes the bus. I have no idea who this person is!
Playing with the puppies was fantastic! The boys had a great time...alright I probably had the best time of everyone! We came home, I made dinner and then realized that I never delt with the bathroom. Towels were thrown in the wash, the mop came out as did the Clorox. I was convinced that I had gotten stabbed in the foot but realized I had actually stepped on a Leggo in the kitchen. I almost had a repeat of today's word of the day. Since the newly clean but still wet bathroom is the one with the bathtub, I took YS upstairs for his first shower. He actually did pretty well. OS enjoyed his shower as well. Now if only they will fall asleep.
Alex Elliot's Mother-in-Law's Lesson Learned (as shared on Facebook): Now you don't have to worry about what they'll pick up from other kids or on the street. There are times when those are the only appropriate words, as long as they don't just fling them about randomly.
My 6 yr old came home from Catholic school with the F word and the C word. Wanted to know what they meant. I explained what they meant & how to use them in a sentence. They I explained that if any adult heard him use them, he would be in big trouble.
I learned all THOSE words from my dad before kindergarten. I figured letting mine get to first grade with minimal exposure was a step in the right direction.
Hey, all in all, it could have been WAAAAY worse, you know? Just think of all the ways that the little situations could have gone horribly wrong and you'll end up feeling like you've had a really accomplished day!
Alex and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
My real life friends have heard this story. Wednesday was a truly terrible day right out of Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. Well, the version where he's grown up and is a stay at home parent. Of course yes in the grand scheme of things compared to illness, death and destruction it was a great day! However, this is my blog and I can cry if I want to! Or tell you about how I literally cried. It actually is funny to look back on it and yes I did try to write this post on Wednesday, but oh yeah my computer crashed and lost it.
The day started off oddly. The boys were up when I got up to go spinning and I was running late. I got back and had plans to go to the RMV lest I be caught driving my "illegal" car and be thrown in the slammer. I've only been to the RMV once (that's what the DMV is called here) and apparently there was a blip in the universe that day because I had a wonderful experience there. There wasn't any line and I had my pick of parking spaces.
The RMV opened at 9. I put OS on the bus at 9 and then arrived at the RMV at 9:10. I had YS all set to go so that we went immediately from the bus stop to our car . I found the place without a problem. See, it really was going to be a good day! Until I couldn't find a single parking spot. I tried positive thinking. A spot would open a spot would open. It was 9:10 AM and apparently everyone and their dog were in there. A spot wasn't going open.
No sweat I would just go to a paid parking lot. I could already see the street parking wasn't going to be an option. Except all the paid parking lots were full or you had to be a court employee to use them. I finally found one four city blocks over and one city block down another street. It was really crowded too. That's when I started crying.
I finally did find a spot there. Suprisingly, looking back and considering the day's events, there was an old stroller in the Big Giraffe's car. Yes, it was his car because if I dared to drive mine the SWAT team would descend on it. Had I known that stroller was there, I would have gotten rid of it, but seeing as it was there it was quite handy. YS sat down in it and we headed to the elevator.
Except we couldn't find it. We wandered up and down and had no luck. I considered just collapsing the stroller and walking down the stairs with him. I finally saw a business woman there and asked her where the elevator was. Yes, it was over a curb and behind the stairs. It wasn't visible from the parking lot much less handicapped accessible. In fact I even walked straight by it while following her directions. She then personally escorted me to it.
Positive thinking positive thinking. We walked over to the RMV. We got in line. We waited and waited and waited. YS annouced he needed to poop. I wasn't going to get out of the line and YS has always had an obession with public bathrooms. Very recently it's been going number 2 in public bathrooms. Don't ask. Plus he had gone number 2 right before we left. I said not now.
I found out we waited in the wrong line. Argh!! Postive thinking. We got a number and waited in a new line. Positive thinking no longer worked and I fought back tears as I instant messaged and tweeted to pass the time. YS was busy playing peek a boo with a woman sitting behind us.
All of a sudden I smelled a terrible smell. I just knew that someone had sh*t their pants. Perfect! I looked around for the offender. Not seeing anyone I could positively identify as the offender I went back to waiting. Then I smelled it again. Seriously, what was wrong with people? Wait a minute...was it YS? I felt his clothed bottom. No lumps.
I cast a general dirty look at those around me. But yet the smell still persisted. As I looked around yet again, was there a turd under my bench?, I noticed that YS was lying on the bench with his feet up in the air and his legs pressed against the back of the bench. The legs of his shorts were bunched up. A terrible smell seemed to be wafting up from them. I peeked. I'm still not sure what happened but there was a giant tire track in his underwear. There was nothing to flush though. I don't know if he didn't wipe well before we left or if maybe a little something came out because I didn't take him to the bathroom when he asked. It will remain one of life's great enigmas. Maybe not, but I do know that a little bit of poop gives off a really big stink.
There was still no way I was getting out of line and besides YS was as happy as a clam. Of course I didn't have a change of clothes for him because I can't even remember when he last had an accident and I know I haven't carried a change of clothing for him in a long time. Fabulous. I told him to sit up and keep his legs together. The silver lining was that no one would sit near us and this was paritcularly good as there was an electronic ticker that kept on running ads for the H1N1 vaccine. It read "2 billion people are estimated to get H1N1 this year". Nice atmosphere all around.
We were finally called. Phew! I gave the woman the expired registration card and everything was all set to go. Except that it was cash only. Are you kidding me?! I was short a couple bucks. She was very nice and told me to go get cash from across the street and come back and see her. She wrote "no wait" on my card.
I never found the ATM across the street. A couple blocks later I did find an ATM. I tried not to cry. We went back and only had to wait a few minutes for the woman to finish up with another customer. Everything was all set. I found out that I didn't need to have gone myself ie I could have sent the Big Giraffe. We had thought that since the car is only registered in my name I had to be the one to do it. No, they only care about the money and having your current address. Seriously, that's what she told me. If my address changes, I can send someone else in with a Post It note with my new address. Yes, she did say that too.
We walked all the way back to car. I know cry me a river. Hey, there are no sidewalks where I live. 5 city blocks of walking is unusual here.
I couldn't find my car. I knew that I had gotten the elevator on the third floor, but I had walked around a couple floors. Where was my car? I finally found it between the 4th and 5th floor.
I got lost coming home. Great. I had been gone 3 hours at this point. I missed everything I had planned for the morning.
We came home and I had a cup of coffee and resolved to return to a zen-like state. Breathe in, breathe out. I remembered that I still had to take the jar of dog pee that was in the fridge to the vet. I got in my newly registered car with the jar o' pee and off and I went.
We walked into the vet's office and no one was there. But there were cars in the parking lot and I heard voices. I didn't want to just leave the pee. Maybe they were having a late lunch? I could hear laughing coming from a door marked "Private". I knocked on the door. Yeah, I walked into a staff meeting. I felt like an idiot standing there with my jar o' pee. A receptionist pointed out that the door was marked private and I shouldn't have knocked on it. Apparently the office was closed. But the front door was open...It was an oversight. The door was marked "Private".
We went home and I made a meal that I had promised to bring to a good friend who just had a baby. I made her a curry dish that we all like. I even went out and bought all the extra special ingredients that I never have. Like raisins. I put the decorative cilantro and cashews on the finished meal. It looked so pretty. I never buy decorative cilantro...or raisins. OMG raisins! Her husband is allergic to fruit! He's allergic to the meal that took me an hour to make! The tears began.
OS came home from school. After a while we headed out to drop off the meal and then headed for soccer along with the Big Giraffe's stinky sneakers that he had left at home. He's the soccer coach. The day was almost over. We would get through the practice and get home. Here's the grand finale of my truly terrible day.
I got to the field and saw the team with all of the moms I hung out with last season. That was no longer my team. We had switched teams so that the Big Giraffe could coach. I was doing my best to be friendly with the new moms on the team while watching the moms on my old team chat away together across the field. All of a sudden YS began to excitedly gesture. What was he so happy about? I turned my head and followed his gaze. It was his long lost friend...the outhouse. But wait, it gets better.
He just had to use it. He was all smiles. He immediately burst in to see if his old friends the orange and the coffee cup from last spring were still nestled deep inside the bowels of the outhouse. Why yes they were despite the fact that the town allegedly cleans the outhouse on a regular basis. But there was also a new friend. The plastic water bottle. YS quickly pointed it out. I told him to hurry up. Oh, no he couldn't do that. He had to go number 2. I drew the line. There was a spider web all across the seat plus YS has decided in his very recent obsession with going number 2 in public bathrooms that he no longer wants me to hold him. And sometimes he falls in a little. But you can't just fall a little in an outhouse...and you don't just hit water when you fall. Um, no. This was not going to happen. I told him I would just take him home. He had a fit. I wanted to move to Australia.
That is my truly terrible day. I think the worst part was how silly I felt about getting upset over everything. That made me realize how silly I felt about my day to day activities as a SAHM and question my decision to be at home. When I went through everything that had happened it wasn't like I was in a car accident or BG had lost his job or anything near that level. Yet I had cried several times. At the end of the day the big question was "did I make a mistake by staying at home?" and I couldn' t honestly say "no". In the end that's ultimately what made it a bad day.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: The silver lining on a bad day is that it makes a good blog post.
I can relate to this on so many levels. While I'm happy with my decision to stay at home now, it has been really hard to go from presenting in court and conducting important investigations to presenting at swim lessons and checking to make sure H wiped. I think it's hard when you're starting to be in the up-swing of the change cycle...your time is a'comin!
Oh Alex, it seems that everything that could have gone wrong did! I would have been in tears too. Some days just are like that and there's nothing to do but throw your hands up on the air and laugh.
Oh honey. These things would have happened whether you work outside the home or not. We all have bad days where the errands go awry and the kids poop their pants. (I wonder where that poop is? Under the bench??) It doesn't mean that you aren't supposed to be a SAHM. It just means that you had a bad day.
That said, I am totally laughing at the outhouse story!
I've had days like that too. Going to the RMV is never a pleasant experience as it is, but having your kid poop in line - horrible! My three-year-old loves to use public bathrooms too. Then, I'm like, "Don't touch anything!!!!"
This morning started off fine. Well, maybe that's a bit of an overstatement. I came home from the gym to find our older son (OS) already in a time out. Then I had the pleasure of giving him two more time outs over the duration during which he got dressed and ate breakfast. As he was finishing breakfast, I looked at him to see if he had any food on his face. That's when I noticed a dot moving quickly towards his right eye. I tried to brush it away. It stopped moving. It also became firmly lodged right under OS's lower eyelashes. As much as I wanted to believe it was a poppy seed from when we had poppy seed bagels about three years ago, I knew it was a tick.
I called the Big Giraffe over and the two of us tried to remove it. However, it was so close to his eye and that skin is just so delicate that we were scared to mess with it too much. I decided to wait and call the pediatrician. After about an hour, the pediatrician's office opened, and I talked to the triage nurse. When she first heard that it was a tick, she told me I could bring him in to the office. However, when I told her where it was located, she told me that she needed to talk with OS's doctor and would call me back. About 5 minutes later she did and told me that I had won an all expense paid visit to the ER...well all expenses other than the co-payment The doctor was nervous about the location and size of the tick. If OS started to squirm, she could hurt his eye. It was better to take him to the ER were he could be sedated if necessary. I almost asked if they could sedate me as well.
Fortunately a friend of mine responded to the status update I put on Facebook while waiting for the return call, and had offered to watch my younger son (YS). We dropped YS off and headed over to the ER. Other than the tick, OS was perfectly healthy and was jumping, stomping and leaping over the different hospital floor tiles. We were told to wait in the waiting room. Nothing like being seated between the toddler who has major GI issues and the teenager wearing a mask. Swine Flu anyone?
Since we had just had our battle with the GI issues last week, we figured we were probably safe, and the teenager seemed completely normal and healthy for a teenager, meaning that he had sulky look on his face which was buried in a book while he ignored his mother. Plus, hopefully all his germs stayed in his mask. Or maybe he was just worried about getting sick from the GI toddler and requested a mask. Either way, our stay in the waiting room was brief. I can't say the same about our time in the exam room.
We had quite a few people stop in to see OS's tick. They were impressed by how small it was, as it was in the nymph stage, and also how close to his eye it was located. It apparently broke the record for smallest dog tick ever seen in that ER. Many doctors made numerous attempts to remove the tick. Finally we came down to the last attempt before sedation. It was bribe city over there. I promised to take OS to the hospital gift shop and wherever he wanted to if he would just hold still. He chose the hospital cafeteria. Go figure. While one doctor held his arms, I held his legs, and OS tried to hold still, a second doctor was able to remove the tick. Phew!
A stomach virus last week followed by an ear infection, followed by a tick. I felt like there was no good luck for OS. Then I learned of the silver lining. OS's ear infection proved to be a blessing in disguise. He was on Amoxicillin which the doctor told me has been found to prevent Lyme Disease in children. As long as we were there, I asked him to take another look at OS's ear. I hope the medicine is preventing lyme disease, because it was certainly doing nothing for his ear infection. More bad news? Not really. The doctor put him on Augmentin, which is also what he prescribes to treat Lyme Disease in children. Same dosage and everything. Of course, this was also a dog tick and not a deer tick.
Another plus? I was able to convince OS to eat at Friendly's and not at the hospital cafeteria. In fact all I had to do was mention "The Big F," as the Big Giraffe refers to it and the hospital cafeteria was completely forgotten.
ER Doctor's Lesson Delivered: Bathe your child every night and check for ticks particularly in their scalp.
When I started this blog, it was to be able to talk about what it was like to formula feed a baby. However, I quickly realized that it also was a great way to let family and friends know what was going on with us. This is a post for them.
Today started out like a pretty regular Wednesday. I headed out to the gym and got home at my usual time. My routine is to walk in the door, wash my hands and sit down at the computer with a cup of coffee for about ten minutes before waking up the kids. You can imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw the contents from our junk drawer spread all over the kitchen floor. This was quickly followed by the pitter patter of little feet and an exclamation of "Hi, Mommy!" from my younger son (YS). He was wearing only a pajama shirt and eating Oreo cookies while scratching "himself." He's never gone downstairs by himself before today. Guess who's getting the safety doorknob put back on his doorknob?
I woke up my older son (OS), got both boys ready and had them sit down for breakfast. That's when I noticed that there was a bloody, pus and wax discharge coming out of OS's ear. It reeked. Seriously, it's been years since he's had an ear infection. After he finished picking at his breakfast, I put both boys in front of a movie as a special treat and went to call the doctor.
Our kitchen opens up into our living room. While I can see most of the room, I can see neither a large chair in the corner nor the kid's chair behind it where YS likes to sit when he watches TV. You can imagine my surprise when I turned around while on hold with the doctor's office and saw YS grinning proudly and announcing that he was a cat. I should clarify that he used my makeup to make himself a cat! Yes, he had used my mascara to draw whiskers, my eyeshadow for the nose, and my eyeliner I believe to draw the whiskers cats have above their eyes on his forehead. When I went upstairs I found that I had accidentaly left my makeup out in the bathroom. The mascara wand was in the concealer tube, and the concealor wand was in the mascara tube.
Y'S the cat than went off to watch the movie. I finally got through to the the doctor's office and was able to make an appointment. Then I scrubbed YS's face and, oddly enough, his arms which he had also done up (fur maybe?) and informed him that I needed to be able to see him for the rest of the day.
We went to the doctor's office. The nurse practitioner confirmed that OS had an ear infection and informed me that same infection likely caused OS's vomitting the other night. It's been years since he's had one. However, the eartubes that he got when he was 20 months old fell out, and she believes that there was a tiny hold left behind. This is apparently pretty common, and it tends to just heal on its own. OS was given the green light to not wear ear plugs anymore. Perhaps a little bath water got in there and caused the infection. OS doesn't ever run fevers with ear infections, and they never seem to bother him. In fact, even though his ear was weeping, it didn't hurt him at all.
The kids and I went to CVS where they insisted on playing musical chairs to a tune that was apparently in their own heads while the prescription was being filled. Since the store was empty, I just did the reasonable thing and pretended I had no idea who they were. We headed back home. The afternoon was fine except that YS commented a few times that he was cold.
I had planned on riding my bike this evening. I haven't been on it much this year, and my first triathlon of the season is on Sunday. The other night, I was pedaling up a hill past a parked car, when the chain popped off. I lost all momentum and barely got one foot out of the clipless pedals in time to avoid a fall. That's when I noticed my audience. Two teenagers in the parked car were making out.
When I took my bike in to the place where I had bought it for repairs, the store owner told me I wouldn't have any more problems with it. I was anxious to get out the door, but just when everything was ready, YS suddenly got sick everywhere. Guess OS had a bug after all. The Big Giraffe and I got him cleaned off and settled. Then I hit the streets to do a quick test of my fixed bike. You can imagine my surprise when I was going up a hill again, and all of a sudden the chain popped off again. Deja-vu. At least this time I didn't have an audience.
I'm sure you have a couple of questions. Let me answer them. Yes, I did take a picture of YS the cat. Yes, I did throw out the one remaining Oreo cookie. Yes, my kids did fight over the fact that I gave YS OS's custom designed barf bowl from yesterday since I was too tired to go downstairs to grab another container. Yes, I do have a fear that on Sunday my chain will pop off at the same time that I come down with the stomach flu. No, I'm not too worried about it happening in front of two teenagers making out. I'm worried about it happening in front of a couple hundred people!
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Real life sometimes is better than fiction; particularly when it happens to someone you know in real life and not yourself!
* I wrote this a couple days ago but didn't get to publish it before I came down with a horrible case of the stomach flu that involved my doctor calling in a prescription for me.
I can already see the Big Giraffe rolling his eyes when he reads the title of this post. You can just file it under "things you like to talk about with your friends." Plus being able to talk freely about bodily fluids seems to be like the stamp of parenthood.
Last night our older son complained of having a stomach ache. As usual I didn't take him too seriously because his complaint didn't start until it was time for bedtime rituals. OS was tucked into bed, and the Big Giraffe and I finally were able to start catching up on each other's weekends. Yes, we hadn't really had a chance to talk about them.
A short while later, we heard OS cry out that his stomach hurt. This time we knew he was serious and BG took him to the bathroom where he promptly threw up everywhere except for the toilet. After a little while, he felt better and went back to bed only to wake up a short while later and vomit again.
I have to confess that under the guise of joke, I grabbed the handouts I had received from EI on the Swine Flu to double check. OS looked like he felt better and after a little bit was ready to go back upstairs. However, I had a feeling that he wasn't "finished" for the evening. I looked around to try and find something for him to throw up into just in case. I have heard of parents using the pot of a potty chair for the purpose. Honestly just thinking about that makes me queasy. I didn't want to use one of our regular pots because I knew that I would always know that vomit had been in it. That's when I came up with a different idea. Seeing as most of my brilliant ideas flop and this one actually worked I thought I would share it. I took an old Gladware container. I figured that at best it could be recycled and at worst it could be tossed. OS looked skeptical, and I could see him thinking that it was a lot easier to just throw up on the floor. I then took out a blue Sharpie and wrote his name on it in big letters and drew a pictures of our dog and two cats. Alright my idea of a drawing basically consists of stick figures, but OS was delighted with it. Unfortunately he had the opportunity to use it later.
This morning I kept him home from school and canceled our afternoon playdate. I figured it would be a low key TV day. Guess I shouldn't be complaining that OS felt totally fine. Yes, he was practically bouncing off the walls. The rest of us are doing fine (knock on wood). I'm wondering if maybe it was just from the heat because it was really hot upstairs.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Take an old Gladware container and with a few strokes of a pen, you'll have a personalized vomit container for your child.
Yesterday my younger son (YS) had a ENT appointment. I was a little skeptical because we were just there a few weeks ago and have another appointment for July. I pointed out that I had never been able to schedule more than one appointment at a time because the ENT typically decides when I should schedule YS's next appointment based on what he sees in the current appointment. However, they had all of the appointments in their computer. I wasn't surprised when the doctor came to examine him and remarked that he had just seen us and that YS wasn't supposed to come in again until July. I wonder whose appointment we got?
It turns out though that the suprise appointment was a good thing because I found out that YS's second ear tube had fallen out! Because he never had even one ear infection with the tubes, he doesn't need another set. I know I should remember exactly when he got his ear tubes, but of course I only recall that he was slightly over a year. I did write a post about it somewhere though, and I know he had his tubes for almost 2 years.
One surprise doctor's appointment was not enough for me. I ended up having to take my older son (OS) to see the pediatrician to check out some phantom stomach pains. $25 copay later, my instinct that OS needed to see the doctor because he was jealous of his brother's frequent doctor's visits was confirmed. I think that makes him one lucky kid, but he unfortunately disagrees.
Even though the appointment was scheduled under false pretenses, it turned out to be a good thing too because I found out that OS's other ear tube had fallen out! This one I know for sure. He got his ear tubes in at 20 months. He's now 5 years and 8 months old. Most ear tubes last between 6 months and 2 years. We were actually told if they weren't out by this spring that the ENT would schedule surgery to remove them. He's only had one ear infection in all those years so he doesn't need another set either.
It's official: we are earplug-free!!! That probably sounds a lot more exciting than it actually is. The truth of the matter is that I never really found the earplugs to be a big deal. I stash a set of the Mac's Children's Earplugs (they're great because they're bright orange so you can see from across the pool if one of them has fallen out (which they almost never do) in the diaper bag, bathroom with tub and, during the summer, in the car. Since OS was in diapers when I started carrying them around, I never found them inconvenient. However, I know I have been enjoying no longer carrying diapers around, so I imagine I will feel the same way about the ear plugs.
This has all come at a good time too and not just because summer is approaching. The Big Giraffe and I realized earlier today that there were new things to carry. That realization came after we looked around OS's soccer practice to identify the first time soccer parents this evening. Yes, we identified ourselves. How could we tell? We were one of the few sets of parents who didn't have those fold up chairs with us. We were so uncool! And more importantly, I would rather sit in a somewhat comfy chair for an hour than on cold grass. Why weren't these chairs on the kids' soccer practice equipment list between cleats and the ball? Thankfully OS is too young to be embarrassed by us! Those of you who haven't ventured into the world of soccer yet take note so that you can too can be in the know and part of the popular crowd.
At the end of the day, I am now left with two mysteries. Where did the no longer needed ear plugs actually go, and why does the Big Giraffe suddenly seem incapable of hearing anything I say to him?
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Just when you think you have less to carry because you no longer need ear plugs, you suddenly have to carry around chairs.
Wow I'm amazed they let your OS's tubes stay in that long. They surgically removed my son's one remaining tube after 2 years...said they don't like to leave them in any longer than that.
I'm sure I commented before too, that we never had to use ear plugs either. Strange how different doctors are.
I enjoy watching Oprah, but I rarely have a chance to watch it. I do read the slides on the website frequently. However, today was our last parenting journey class so I didn't have to cook dinner thus giving me a free hour while the kids were actually playing nicely together. I settled down to watch Oprah.
Today's topic was on talking to your kids about sex. They actually already had the slides up on the website so I knew all about Dr. Berman's controversial advice before watching it. Unfortunately she didn't have much to say about raising boys, but she did give me a lot to think about. She recommends starting out by giving your kids the basic anatomy information, baby making information and then information about feeling good about their genitals. Before I became the mother of boys, I might have felt embarrassed about that last advice, but they learned it quite quickly on their own. We are constantly reminding the boys that it's fine and normal to touch themselves, but they have to do it in private. We've already had the birds and bees conversations with our older son (OS) many times and since our younger son (YS) was along for the ride as usual, he has heard it all too. As for the anatomy? Well, during YS's EI speech screening a couple weeks ago, an evaluator showed YS a picture of two clothed children and asked if he knew the difference between boys and girls. Without looking at the pictures, YS proudly announced that boys have penises and girls have "ginas". They were expecting him to point to the boy picture and say, "boy".
The show talked about a study that O Magazine and Seventeen had done where they found that parents aren't talking to their kids enough about sex. Basically you want to talk to your kids about sex and sexual situations before they happen, hence beginning sex talks very early and giving more and more information as it becomes appropriate. On the show, Dr. Berman also talked with a group of girls. Basically the girls talked about how common oral sex is these days and one of them said it was like the new goodnight kiss. Yes, I have heard that before...well not the kiss part, but every time I hear it still surprises me; the part that surprises me every time I hear it is that this is happening in junior high.
Dr. Berman again talked about the importance of self-pleasuring and how if a girl is taught that this is OK to do, then she won't be dependent on a boy to do it for her; it could actually delay her having sex. I think it is important to teach girls to feel good about their bodies in general but also specifically so that when the time is appropriate she can have a healthy and fulfilling sex life. It doesn't take a sexologist to know that the idea of boys touching themselves is more accepted than the idea of girls doing it. I can talk at a parent group about my kids' bath time explorations and get a few chuckles but if someone mentions her daughter doing the same thing, more times than not it seems that there are uncomfortable chuckles.
I haven't gotten to the big "shocker" yet. Dr. Berman suggested that parents might want to get their 15, 16, or 17 year-old daughters a clitoral vibrator, both to further the understanding that they don't need another person for fulfillment and because many females have trouble achieving orgasms. There were a lot of shocked looks in the audience. I was surprised too. Since Dr. Berman had talked about empowering girls to explore their sexuality and to not feel ashamed about making themselves feel good, I thought she would have said along those lines not to be surprised to if the daughter purchases a vibrator. I hadn't considered that she might advise parents to actually get the vibrators for them. I tried to think about how I would feel if I had a daughter. I would like to think that I would be totally open and honest with her, including discussing vibrators. I think it's great when women take charge of their sexuality or perhaps I should say when they take sexuality into their own hands. I think that I would be alright with my hypothetical daughter having a vibrator in theory, but I'm not sure that I would want to be the one to buy it for her or even to know about it. Then again, maybe after being so open and honest for years, I would be at the point where I would feel comfortable. Given as merely a suggestion, I could see Dr. Berman's reasoning behind it. It's kind of like the way I know what the boys are doing when they stand around in the bathroom for a while, but I try not to think about it.
I wondered why Dr. Berman and Oprah didn't talk about the "safe adult" who is a person designated by the parent as a safe person with whom their child may talk about any concerns or questions if they feel like they can't go to you. The kids and the safe person know that you have their permission to be helping your child and that the safe person would encourage the child to talk with you unless of course the child is in danger of harming themselves or others in which case the safe person would tell you; basically like a therapist. I got the idea when babysitting for a mom who was her best friend's daughter's safe person. In that role, she discussed with the girl the pros and cons of sleeping with her boyfriend and birth control. The daughter decided not to have sex.
I've heard from other people that Oprah did a show on safe adults a couple years ago. Suzanne is our kids' safe person, and I think if I had a daughter, Suzanne might be a good person to have that specific conversation. While the Big Giraffe and I hope that our sons will come to us first with any questions or concerns, we are more concerned about them making safe, healthy decisions and we trust Suzanne.
I did wonder how many parents in the audience who were shocked by Dr. Berman's advice would support handing out condoms to kids who want to have sex. I hope that my kids wait until they are in loving relationships to have sex. I hope that they wait until they're older, but if they do decide to have sex, then I certainly hope that they will be safe. Along those same lines, if I had a daughter and it was a choice between sex and using a clitoral vibrator, I would certainly choose the latter.
I was also surprised by something else left out the show. Again, the Big Giraffe and I are very open with our kids. One of the many benefits to us about beginning our talks with our kids at this age is that it's allowing us to come more and more comfortable with talking about it with them. As open as we are, I have to admit it felt a little strange the first time we read them a How Babies are Made book. Now it's no different than Goodnight Moon.
Wow, I definately did not have such an open and liberal sexual education and still wouldn't feel comfortable having such conversations with my parents about this topic.
I believe it's very important to be open as i don't want to have the same attitude towards my children as my parents had to me....yet I'm not sure if I am ready yet to these suggestions. Oh well, I don't have to be yet ;)
Hi Goofball, I completely understand what you're saying. Like I said, I was surprised by her advice but could see her reasoning. Then again, I don't have a daughter so I don't have to worry about that specific aspect. Thanks for commenting!
My mom was very comfortable talking about sex with me, and I still made bad decisions. Hell, I'll try the vibe if it keeps punkin pie from having sex too young!
Today was my younger son's (YS) Early Intervention speech evaluation. A speech therapist, a specialist in child development, and a social worker all conducted the evaluation. They confirmed that they were there to investigate my concern about YS's articulation. Good thing I called them because their results were very startling to me. Their breakthrough diagnosis happened right after the speech therapist held up a yellow car and asked YS what it was.
YS: It's a yellow cah. Alex Elliot (AE): See that's exactly what I'm talking about! He's not articulating car correctly. Speech Therapist (ST) (laughing): Yes, he has been dropping his "r's". AE: Exactly! He's not articulating correctly. ST: And he also adds r's to certain words. AE: That's right! Everyone started laughing. AE (horrified): Does he have a Massachusetts accent? ST: Yes he does!
Turns out the articulation problem isn't an articulation problem at all. It is really a Massachusetts accent! (The Big Giraffe insists that a Massachusetts accent is an articulation problem.) He also replaces l's with w's in some words, so he'll say "wollilop" instead of lollipop but will correctly say the word "lion." I was told that this is normal for his age. The speech therapist is coming back in two weeks to conduct a final articulation test, but she said that he seems absolutely fine. I think given a choice between speech from the land of "da bearss" and speech from the lack of "wicked pissahs," the Big Giraffe prefers the latter. Don't worry, Big Giraffe, we can all still hear your Long Island accent!
Of course, YS is not the only one growing up and having new experiences. The Big Giraffe and I went to a kindergarten readiness meeting at the public preschool this evening. It was for our older son (OS), not for us, which is fortunate. It is very clear that neither the Big Giraffe nor I would be ready for kindergarten if we had to start this fall. Show me a writing and craft table and hands down I would choose to play with blocks or dressup. Guess it's a good thing I was grandfathered in with my previous kindgergarten experience.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Growing up in Newr England is hahd.
our Belgian friends in the Netherlands also try to avoid their kids to adopt a dutch accent in vain and so does my brother-in-law who currently lives in a region with a totally different dialect then where he's from.
but they all seem to fail: kids pick up the local accents
Oh man... yet another reason to move back home to Chicago. Not that you and I have thick ones growing up in the north 'burbs, but my aunts on the South Side... they know the right name for fizzy drinks. Pop!!
At the beginning of January my younger son (YS) had his adenoids and tonsils removed because he was having difficulty gaining weight. Today was our his big appointment. Yes, he had been seen a couple weeks after the surgery by the ENT to make sure the everything had healed correctly, but today was the appointment with the pediatrician to check his height and weight. While, he only gained a pound, he grew two whole inches. I almost started crying. The ENT had predicted that if the adenoids were stunting his growth, we would see an immediate growth spurt. The pediatrican is predicting that we have about 6 months left of weight and height checks (really 2 every 3 months appointments) and then he should be caught up to where he's supposed to be if that makes sense. Even if he hadn't grown so much, the surgery would have still been worth it just because he no longer snores and is much better rested in the mornings.
However, there's been something nagging at me since YS had his surgery. As soon as he came out of the surgery and began speaking, I realized I couldn't understand him. It was like the teacher in Charlie Brown except YS talked like the teacher. The ENT said it was a side effect of the surgery and should go away with time. For the most part it did, but it seemed like there was a touch of it still there. I asked the ENT about it at the follow up appointment and was told that again, everything was still swollen, but that sometimes kids and adults do need speech therapy after the surgery because of the space that is left from the adenoids removal (the palette is supposed to move up and close but it sometimes doesn't) or the mouth just feeling differently. YS also sounds very different. He no longer sounds nasally or like Ray Ramano. Many friends and family have commented on it. I can't tell if I just am not used to his new voice or if there really is a slight garble at the end of his words like he's slurring the letters slightly. The Big Giraffe can't understand anyone under the age of 4, (some days I think perhaps he would like to say under 30) so he's no help and generally I can't understand what anyone's kids say. I think I'll stick to veterinary medicine and not pediatrics!
The pediatrican listened to YS speak as he identified the little sea creature toys he had with him. She was very impressed by his vocubalary and how he could spot the differences between different types of sharks and whales. However, she also could hear a little of the garble and while she thought it was within normal, she recommended having a speech evaluation just in case, particularly since this didn't start until after the surgery.
The pediatrician did warn me that it is difficult to evaluate your child's speech because kids' speech is not in context. Children thus may be hard to understand because they don't make sense, even if they are speaking clearly. This is caused by jumping from non-sequitur to non-sequitur. I immediately thought of my grandmother. I had a hard time understanding what she was saying when she got older, but then again she would say things like, "I bought milk at the Egg store. That tornado was terrible." Really they were two separate thoughts, but when presented like that I thought I just didn't hear her right. I could totally understand what the pediatrician was saying.
I've written many posts on my feelings about Early Intervention from when my older son (OS) had speech therapy, so I don't think anyone will be surprised that my intial reaction was "Holy $&*#$#$^$ on wheels!" I decided to keep that to myself, if there is really and truly a problem, I obviously do want him to get help. The pediatrician did say that if there is a problem, then it is very minor and something that would only take a couple months to resolve. This is good because he only has 4 months before he turns 3 and then would have to go through the public school system to receive services. As my aunt said, a little bit of speech therapy can go a long way.
In the meantime, YS is still on his high calorie diet and basically raiding our pantry and cabinets a good portion of his waking hours (and I do mean that literally as I have found him going through the boxes in our pantry). Overall, a fabulous day. Of course it would have been better if the pediatrician had looked at me and recommended that I too be put on a high calorie diet, but that didn't happen.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Context breeds understanding, so ukelele.
I'm interested to hear what my daughter will sound like in a couple of weeks.
Glad that he is doing well and growing! I never heard of that about the adenoids before. I hope my daughter doesn't go on a big growth spurt now...she's already really tall!
So glad to hear he's gaining weight and growing. Hopefully the speech issue will resolve easily and quickly. And yeah, wish I could get put on a high calorie diet too. A friend of mine is trying to gain weight and says she's "too lazy" to make special foods. Can you believe that? Who's too lazy to make fattening foods?
It's been a little while since I posted. A long long time ago, practically in the dark ages or better known as the time before I had children, I rarely got sick. When I did get sick it was always a big deal like viral meningitis or when I worked at the DA's office and got some really weird rash and a high fever and left a completely incoherent message on voicemail for my boss except that I was actually talking to a different co-workers voicemail. What can I say except that I'm impressed that I was even able to pick up the phone.
This year, though I think I have had more colds than I have had in the past ten years combined. In fact the last time I was at the doctor I asked her about it. She said it's probably because my older son (OS)is in school 5 days a week for the first time this year. She said it's pretty common for the parents to be sick a lot even though the kids are healthy.
This Monday OS had a cough. I didn't think too much of it, but when he barely touched his pizza at lunch I know something was amiss. When has OS ever refused pizza? Sure enough later that night he had a fever. He hasn't had one in about two years. I'm not joking. We still have the same bottle of Children's Tylenol I bought when he turned two so I wouldn't have to buy any more of the dinky little bottles of infant medicine. Then of course we had YS though...
Anyhow, we were lucky that the fever didn't even last 12 hours; he was up and fine in no time. I did keep him home from school for a couple days. Then the Big Giraffe got it. He did worse. Then I got it and spent several days feeling like I was coming down with something, eventually ending up with a fever over the weekend. Plus I've had some issues going on in my personal life (fortunately not with my hubby or sons) that just seem to make dealing with anything more difficult. So how was YS? Perfectly healthy fortunately leading me to wonder if this illness was bacterial since YS had to be on antibiotics for a while because of his surgery.
Hopefully that's it for colds this year. After all I have other life threatening worries to keep me occupied. Take for example the Hotwheel car that happened to just be placed oh so perfectly at the bottom of the stairs this afternoon. Guess who saw her life flash before her eyes. On a positive note though when I attend parenting class tomorrow and have to name either a good parenting moment, a good nurturing moment for myself, or a parenting moment I wish I had handled better I will be able to give an example of the third.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Adults are not meant to ride on Hotwheels, particularly starting at the bottom of their stairs.
It's Not Over 'til the Tonsilectomy Patient Screams
Things were going really well with my younger son's (YS) recovery. In fact they were going so well I even called the ENT to get his opinion on switching YS from Tylenol with codeine to regular Tylenol. I was advised not to do this at all. If I chose to do this, I was strongly advised to at least keep him on the narcotic at night since the nightime pain tends to be particularly intense for this surgery. Phiff! I also asked the ENT if it is normal to be completely unable to understand your child's speech after losing tonsils. He confirmed that incomprehensibility is a common side effect of this surgery.
Late the next afternoon, YS just lost it. Everything was making him cry. Then he started waking up in the middle of the night crying too. He said nothing hurt, so we thought that the series of meltdowns was just a fluke. Until the next night when it happened over and over and over again. I called the ENT who said that this was normal. Um, hello, in our conversation two days ago we talked about pulling him off the narcotic because he acted like he never had surgery. Turns out that this is also typical with younger kids who have this surgery. They act fine but then around day 7 they start to feel "referred ear pain" particulary at night. I was reminded that the recovery for this is a full ten to fourteen days and to expect this on each of the remaining nights. Except that YS is not waking up screaming in pain; he's waking up screaming that he can't find his toy beluga whale or that his nightime pullup is wet. Apparently that's part of the healing too, and regardless of what bothers him after he wakes up, the actual awakening probably probably results from ear pain.
All I know is that at midnight last night the Big Giraffe and I were searching for a two inch dinosaur that a hysterical YS just had to have. Nothing would calm him down. Then an hour later I was up soothing an hysterical YS who was upset that that two inch dinosaur had miracously appeared and was looking at him funny. Of course all the while I could barely understand YS so he was getting more and more frustrated. Then a couple hours later he was up again. Of course the bigger mystery is how and when our older son (OS) not only appeared in our bed but completely sprawled out all over our bed.
I feel just like I have a newborn again. Except that this time both of my kids appear totally fine in the morning and have way too much energy. You would never know that one of them had surgery. Hmmm...probably if you saw the Big Giraffe or me, you would guess that there had been a surgery in the family except that you would think that we were the ones who had undergone it!
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Parents should not expect the behavior of their two year-olds to make sense after they have undergone surgery. Parents should also not expect the behavior of their two year-olds to make sense when they have not undergone surgery. Parents believe they should expect the behavior of the older siblings of their two year-olds to make sense, but they are mistaken.
Oh boy! Poor little guy and poor you! But I had to laugh a bit when you said the dinosaur was looking at him funny... At least he still has his sense of humour ;)
I thought I would write a quick post to say that my younger son's (YS) surgery went well yesterday. He had his adenoids and tonsils removed. Right from the beginning he was very laid back. The nurse gave him some medicine that would be make him happy and forget the surgery. I asked if I could have some and suggested that they really market it, not only those supporting loved ones through surgery but for family reunions.
YS was understandably not thrilled when the anesthesiologist put the mask over his face, but I quickly promised that when we got home I would chase down a cat for him hold. I have no idea where that idea came from, but it worked! YS accepted the mask and drifted off to sleep. I felt really choked up but had promised the anesthesiologist that I could keep it together, so after making a few strangled sounds, I was alright.
The surgery itself took a half hour. The ENT came out and again commented on how enlarged YS's adenoids were. He told us that the surgery went well, and that YS would definitely be able to breathe better. We had to wait twenty minutes so that they could pull out the tube (they needed to intubate because of the bleeding from removing the tonsils) and get him situated. We went in to see him, and the nurse had me sit in a rocking chair and hold YS. If you can picture what it would be like to try and hold a feral cat or perhaps a panther while sitting on a rocking chair, you have a pretty good idea of how this went. In addition to being disoriented, YS was furious that he had an IV and kept trying to rip it out. He was given a couple shots of pain meds in his IV, and he calmed down. Then much to my surprise the nurses commented on how easily he came out of anesthesia.
The nurse did not expect YS to eat for a few hours, but she said it would be a good sign if he managed to eat part of a Popsicle within the hour. YS ate 4. By the time he was settled into the recovery room he was working on a 5th and then ate a 6th. Much to everyone's surprise he didn't throw up, even after they moved the gurnee from the recovery area to his recovery room. YS happily watched TV and chattered away. He even got up to use the bathroom. Other than acting tipsy, he seemed fine. So much so that we were discharged after the minimum amount of observation time.
Once at home YS continued to act tipsy and have slurred speech. He was happy to watch TV. He was also happy to try and hang upside down from the couch and to try to leap off the stairs. We were told that he might remain on a high from the hospital meds for most of the day of the surgery, but that when nighttime came he would start to experience a lot of pain. Fortunately this wasn't the case. The Big Giraffe did set his alarm clock though to wake up every four hours to give him his pain medicine, which YS has taken without a problem.
Then I made my own bed check. That's when I panicked. I couldn't hear YS. I thought he wasn't in bed. Where was he? I started to feel relieved when I saw him there, but I realized that I couldn't hear his snoring. After careful observation, I was able to see him breathing peacefully. I realized that this was the first time that I can remember YS sleeping without sounding like a jack hammer was going off in his bed. That's right YS no longer snores! I think part of his successfull recovery is because he is actually getting sleep. Before the surgery, the thought YS might have sleep apnea because of the size of his adenoids. Despite the pain, medication, and swelling, this may be the best sleep YS has ever had.
Today YS did well too. He is acting like a child who is slightly off because he is coming down with a cold. He's not completely back to himself, but you would never guess that he just had surgery. He's just a little more sensitive and cranky than usual, and he has no interest in being sedentary to heal. The Big Giraffe keeps saying that the good news is that YS feels like he is completely healthy, but the bad news is that he doesn't realize that feeling is an illusion.
Today is also my 33rd birthday. YS's recovery has been one awesome birthday present!
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Surgery isn't always a traumatic experience.
happy birthday! I am glad to hear that YS took the surgery well. I had some minor surgery myself on Thursday and it was my first time and I found the surgery room very very scary and intimidating. Yikes.
What a trooper to take it all so well? And no nausea either? that's great! A good birthday present indeed.
and it was the first time that he didn't snore, I can imagine your panick at night not to hear him! Wow, that must be stressfull before you've realised that.
Glad you've got it all behind you now and he only needs to recover .
Oh what a wonderful outcome to such a stressful time. Good for you for holding it all together, I know how hard it is to watch your child go through this.
A couple weeks ago I attended friends' baby shower. In the swirl of conversations about everyone becoming parents, I caught up with an old (well perhaps former is a better word than old since she is only four years older than I am) college adviser who happened to be there. She's about 4 years older than me. I asked her if she ever felt pressured by her friends to have kids, since she and her long time boyfriend/partner want to remain child-free. She acknowledged that being surrounded by parents had changed many of her friendships, but not because they were pressuring her to join them. The big culprit: her friends only wanted to talk about their kids. The answer wasn't really surprising to me, because I have friend of that phenomenon in parenting magazines and books.
Right around that time, a friend of mine invited me to take a parenting class she was offering at her family network. It meets once a week for 12 weeks and get this: they provide free childcare and free dinner for both kids and parents. Here's what interested me in it aside from not having to worry about dinner once a week: the class is about a parent's identity as a person.
That's right, it's a class for parents about basically getting to know themselves better. Both the Big Giraffe and I thought it sounded like a good idea so we signed up. Tonight was our first class. I'm pretty excited about this parenting journey.
Of course our next step on our parenting journey may not be in the most enjoyable direction. The hospital called this afternoon to tell us that our younger son (YS) got the first slot for surgery on tomorrow's schedule! That was what we were hoping, for because he's not allowed to eat breakfast. We have to be there at 6 am tomorrow.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Parents are people too.
Good luck with the surgery! Both my sons have had surgery at different times and we lucked out with one of them having an early slot, too. Makes it so much easier.
And on the parenting class, they have one just like that, too here at our local school. I was blown away by the free childcare and dinner thing, too.
I have been very stressed by my younger son's (YS) upcoming surgery. I wrote a post at GNMParents last Friday about how Parenting When Family is Far Away compounds this sort of stress. Today my younger son (YS) had his pre-op appointment at the hospital. Apparently I'm either getting old, losing my mind (hey I'll be 33 on Saturday), or perhaps a combination of both because I have no recollection of having a pre-op appointment before my breast reduction surgery. Or maybe it's just that it wasn't required.
I had never been to this hospital before, but I knew where it was because of a very important landmark: the drive-thru Starbucks. The ENT must be a fellow coffee lover because he appeared to be on the same wavelength. When I mentioned knowing the location of the hospital because of the Starbucks, he commented how much he likes the drive-thru aspect!
YS and I arrived, and I was immediately impressed with the hospital. It was bright and clean and, oddly enough, cheerful. They had a lot of nice plants in the atrium. YS was seen promptly for his appointment. It was one long appointment. It lasted over an hour, and the nurse and nurse practioner who saw him were very thorough. They asked me all the usual medical history questions and then basically went over YS with a fine tooth comb. One nurse has been doing this for 25 years and gave me very detailed information on what to expect with both the surgery and recovery. Sheeven gave me a little schedule to follow (cafeteria for breakfast, coffee stand, then waiting room) to follow during the surgery to make the time fly. Is it possible that she knew me in a former life? Or maybe my house is bugged, because I had been worried about the slow tick of the clock during the surgery.
The good news is that both she and the nurse separately told me that YS was so calm during the physical that they really thought that he would have an easy recovery. Their reasoning was that a lot of times just being around doctors and nurses is traumatic for kids, never mind the surgery, so since YS was totally fine with being poked and prodded they felt he was one step ahead of the game. Whether it's true or not, I felt an immediate sense of relief. So much so that my MIL commented on how much more relaxed I looked when I walked into the house after the appointment. There is definitely an emotional benefit to parents from the pre-op appointment. I left feeling reassured. I not only knew that the hospital was near the Starbucks, but I knew where to park, where to go when we first arrived at the hospital on Friday, and what to expect during the recovery. Instead of waiting for the discharge from the hospital, they gave me the handouts including the food list and post-op treatment today.
Everything seemed to be going smoothly until I got home and remembered that my older son (OS) seems to have gone straight from age 5 to age 15 this week. How did I remember? Well, for the third day in a row, he told me that he hates me and that I'm the worst mother in the entire world. I am sure he will be far happier with my parenting this weekend when his brother is getting all of the attention. Wait wait wait! Before you take his side, not only has my MIL extended her visit so that he has has a grandma staying through YS's recovery, but I've arranged some special playdates as well as some alone time with him for later on in the recovery.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: A calm child, cheerful hospital, experienced medical staff with good bedside manner, a visiting relative, and a nearby Starbucks can help a parent of a pre-op child manage stress.
There's nothing quite like coming in contact with great nurses. I'm so glad it was a good experience and helped put you both at ease! Keeping my fingers crossed that they're right about the easy recovery.
Last week we met with our younger son's (YS) ENT and it is official: he will be having his adenoids and tonsils removed. Apparently his adenoids are gigantic. The ENT kept on going back to the x-rays and commenting on it. It is also likely that he has sleep apnea. Blech! The surgery is scheduled for January 9th.
To say that I'm nervous about this surgery would be an understatement. Yes, I know that this is a standard surgery. There's nothing unusual about it, and thankfully it's nowhere near as serious as something like open heart surgery. Yet at the same time it involves anesthesia, and of greater concern, it involves pain. If I could switch places with him, I would do it in a heartbeat. We were told that on a scale of one to ten for pain with one being minimal pain, this ranks at an eight. The recovery time is ten days, and in the doctor's words it's "hell".
Right now we're trying to prepare for the day-to-day tasks that will need to continue during his recovery by calling in all the help we can get. As short a time as ten days is may be, it is a long time for a child to be in pain. I wouldn't want to drag YS in the car with me to bring OS back and forth to preschool, even were we not advised not to do so. Six days (thanks to weekends) would also be a long time for OS to miss out on preschool. My playgroup and moms group are being terrific about it. My MIL didn't even miss a beat when asked before agreeing that she would stay with us to help during the surgery and recovery.
Yet at the same time I still feel panicked about it. YS is just such a happy-go-lucky kid, and I feel terrible that he will be going through it. When we were playing together this evening, he was just so enthused to be with me. I kept thinking, "You have no idea that I signed the papers for the pain you will be experincing in a couple weeks." I know, I know! This surgery will make him better. His doctors are hoping that not only will he begin to gain weight after the surgery, but that he will have a big growth spurt as well; apparently enlarged adenoids can stunt growth. He is small for his age. What can I say except that I have a huge dose of mommy guilt right now.
Right after I had my older son (OS) I saw a Dr. Phil show in which either he or one of his guests stated that when you have children, it is like someone took your heart and placed it in your child. All you can do is watch. I have felt like this a few times as a parent. This is one of those times.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Ten days of a child's pain elicits far lengthier parental guilt.
Good luck with the surgery and recovery. I know what you mean about taking your heart and putting it outside of yourself. Something I only knew intellectually before I had kids, but now would do almost anything for them to not be in pain.
Hopefully it'll all be over soon, and he will be back and better than ever.
Just an anecdote, but this may be encouraging: one of my colleague's son had this surgery when he was a child, and it "cured everything." His speech clarity improved greatly, he stopped wetting the bed at night, slept better, concentration improved, so on and so forth. He's now a 6'6" high school student with good grades. ;)
I can relate a little, as I felt anxious when Jack had eye surgery however, the recovery from that is hours not days. My heart goes out to you and YS... It will be hard but worth it and he's young, he won't remember!
Any amount of pain for our children is too much pain for us to handle. There isn't a mother out there that doesn't understand the agony YOU'RE about to go through.
Hope he heals quickly and makes you shake your head over your concern...
Aw poor kid. My heart goes out to you guys, that would be so hard and stressful. Good luck with everything and hope the recovery is speedy! I'm sure he'll be feeling so much better once he's all healed.
I know just how you feel -- it was so hard when my daughter had surgery this summer (appendectomy). All we could do was focus on the fact that the pain was temporary. Good luck to all of you.
I had my adnoids removed and tubes in my ears when I was about 6 I believe. My mom said the difference was incredible. If it makes you feel ANY better for the long run, I do not remember now (at 34) being in any pain, so that was apparently quickly forgotten.
The one thing I DO remember, was being scared about being in the hospital. My mom bought me a pop-up book about hospitals and a kid who had to go to the hospital for something. That made me feel a lot better because I could point to things in the book that scared me and my mom and the doctor could talk to me about them. So that helped.
Many more hugs to you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers! And I hope he will feel all the benefits as soon as possible and forget all the pain!
A while ago a friend asked me to drive her family to the airport because parking and car services are pretty expensive. I was happy to help, except for two things. First, the drive would coincide with my older son's (OS) preschool pickup. Second, I couldn't fit my friend's family, my younger son (YS), and me in my car at the same time. Size soon became the least of my car problems.
Last week as I was driving my boys to my older son's (OS) Tae Kwon Do lesson, it sounded like a group of preschoolers were planning the drums in my car. OS and my younger son (YS) were actually innocent. I know! I couldn't believe it myself. Not surprisingly, cars aren't supposed to make that noise. Unfortunately, the replacement axle wasn't in stock, and it needed to be ordered. I was told my car was safe to drive as long as it wasn't icy or snowing out. Hmm...call me crazy, but I think we may have just had the teensiest tiniest weather incident out here...so teenie that a state of emergency was declared and the National Guard was called out! That effectively meant we were down to one car.
At least we had our health...until I found a spot of blood at the foot of the bed where my cats typically sleep. After examining both cats and the dog, I was unsuccessful at finding any wound. I was unsure whether to be relieved or more concerned.
Fortunately, all problems had a solution. My friend suggested that we get around the car capacity issue by taking her car to the airport. I could then drive it back home. She further asked that we keep her car in our driveway to avoid it being towed in the event of another snowstorm. As long as we were going to take car of the car, she further, generously suggested that we borrow her car until my car gets fixed. Meanwhile, OS had been asking for a while to have a playdate with a close friend of his from preschool. Her mother agreed to pick OS up with her daughter. To describe OS as excited would be more of an understatement than my description of our snowstorm.
This morning, I felt things were on the right track. I even slept in a bit, skipped spinning class, and continued to extend the life of my less and less supportive and more and more stinky shoes by using the newly fixed treadmill in our basement. When I got off and pulled off my socks to get into the shower, I found the solution to the last problem. The source of blood at the foot of our bed had been a foot...specifically my foot. I apparently had a blister on my heel that was bleeding but fortunately didn't hurt.
I had a good conversation with my friend on the way to the airport. My friend doesn't need to pay for airport parking. I don't need to rent a car. OS had a fantastic playdate, filled with hugs and play. And I will be giving myself a holiday gift of running shoes this week.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Trivial problems have easy solutions.
Ever since my younger son (YS) was a baby he has been a snorty kid. I remember asking about it at the hospital and being told that c-section babies often were like that. Except that my older son (OS) was also born via c-section, and I didn't remember him sounding like that. As YS moved from infant to young child, I was told that sometimes kids just sounded funny. It was written down in his records at both the pediatrician's and ENT's office that I was concerned.
Since June, YS has had to go in to the pediatrician for periodic weight and height checks because he appears to have a super metabolism. He eats large quantities of food yet is only in the third percentile for weight and the twentieth percentile for height. When questioned by the doctor about what YS ate for breakfast, I described: two pieces of whole wheat toast slathered with butter, a Danimal, a cup of whole milk and two pieces of American cheese, not to mention a piece of Advent candy. Sometimes he will also eat some fruit. He'll only be 2.5 at the end of the month. The pediatrician asked me whether or not he snored. Um...yeah...It sounds like there is a symphony in his room every night.
Apparently sometimes kids with enlarged adenoids burn extra calories because they have to work harder to breathe. Since YS had enlarged tonsils, she thought he might also have enlarged adenoids. X-rays were ordered, and sure enough YS has very large adenoids. We have an appointment in a couple weeks with his ENT to see if he needs surgery. While I am very concerned about YS and the surgery, I do have one really important question to ask the ENT: can his enlarged adenoids be transferred to me, because I would love to burn extra calories sleeping at night instead of getting up at the crack of dawn to workout!
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: There are upsides and downsides to enlarged adenoids.
huh - more calories to breathe. crazy! i know m had her adenoids removed as a child. the only possible adverse side effect is that she is pretty short. but i don't know if that was causal...
I remember before I was a parent I would sort of shudder when parents talked about their children's bodily functions. Sure, I was happy to enjoy a conversation about pets. Then again I rarely hear pet owners rarely bring up constipation outside of an animal hospital. Or at least not without a lot of euphemisms. Fortunately, animal excrement talk doesn't bother me.
Parents, though, are another matter. It seemed like they could go from talking about what they cooked for Thanksgiving to whether or not their child had "pooped" that day and, if they did, whether or not it was a decent size. I was never going to be like that. Today though I left the following voicemail for a friend who had foolishly volunteered to watch the boys for me this afternoon:
"Hi. I was just calling to confirm the sit for this afternoon. I also wanted to give you a heads up that YS is potty trained. However. . . I'm not sure if he'll tell you when he needs to go to the bathroom. We've never left him with a sitter before. OK that's not true, but not since he has been potty-trained for a time period that's been more than an hour. Since we always try to get him to pee before a sit, it hasn't mattered to a sitter before. When we're out in public, I have him pee on the hour. So far we haven't had any problems. He can hold it for several hours, but this way you shouldn't have to worry. Oh, but he won't say that he wants to try and pee so just announce to him that it's time to pee so that you're not giving him a choice. Then you can ask him if he would rather pee standing up or sitting. He'll say standing up, but at least this way he feels like he's making a choice. I'm hoping he'll poop before we come to your house. I'm leaving you this message because I didn't want to say this all in front of him. See you soon."
I cannot believe I left that message. Yet I would do it again. I did save the best...nugget for when I was dropping the boys off at her house. "I'm really sorry, but the pediatrician put YS on an OTC laxative yesterday and said we really should start it that night. So far nothing's happened, but she said it could take a couple days."
YS if fine, but she said that she tends to recommend laxatives for toddlers who are having constipation during the first couple months of potty training. More importantly to my friend, I did tell her I would give her extra tokens if the laxative took effect while she was watching him! Fortunately there were no accidents, and YS did a great job peeing for her in the toilet. How weird does that sound? Also fortunately, the laxative did finally take effect once we got home, and I have to say I was very impressed that something that size could come out of his little tiny body. The words "kid sized bowling ball" came to mind. Alright I really need to stop now.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Parents can take voicemail to another level.
I know what you mean! The poop talk seems so strange before you are a parent and then it basically becomes life.
My oldest used to save it up for days...like 10. You want big? Sometimes I was seriously tempted to photograph it for Guinness. Thankfully I came to me senses before it got out of hand.
I enrolled my younger son (YS) as a community kid in an Early Intervention playgroup through my town. My older son (OS) was in the same playgroup when he was young younger and really enjoyed it. I thought it was a great program, and, as an added bonus, they had a parenting group run by a social worker for the last hour of each session.
The first time we went, YS loved it but I had to be pulled out of parent group because he was having some separation issues. What?! I had never been pulled out of parenting group before. Oh, yeah different kid. This last time YS did really well for the whole playgroup. There were no separation issues, and I was able to relax and enjoy parent group. The psychologist who led this group wanted to know if she could give advice on anything. I puffed out my chest (alright mentally because otherwise that's just weird) and gave myself a little pat on the back (obviously mentally!). This was my second child after all. Clearly I was an expert. However, a little voice reminded me of the drama I had...been through...that morning with both of my kids.
Alex Elliot (AE): This morning my kids asked for ceral for breakfast. However when I gave OS his bowl, he began to protest that he didn't like the bowl. Then his brother began to protest that he didn't like his bowl either. It turned from one protest into two.
Psychologist (P): So what do you do?
AE: I ended up switching ceral bowls because if OS doesn't eat breakfast in the morning he's a nightmare.
P: It sounds like you handled it well.
AE: What?! I totally caved in to to his demands! I set a precendent! It's a slippery slope! I now had four dirty bowls instead of two.
P: Do you have a dishwasher?
AE: Yes.
P: Then what's the problem? You don't want your kids to think you're inflexible. It's important to show that you know how to pick your battles and that you're willing to listen to something that's important to them even if it's not a big deal to you.
AE: I guess.
P: Did they both eat their breakfast? Was eating breakfast the ultimate goal?
AE: Yes.
P: So you got them to eat their breakfast. It didn't go exactly as planned but it's not like the extra bowls took up a lot of space in the dishwasher. Next time just play silly back at them and say "You know I think the Mickey Mouse bowl would make a better Tuesday bowl than Monday bowl. I think the red bowl is a good Tuesday bowl."
The discussion did make me view the situation differently. There was no problem with the bowls today. She was right that the kids did settle down once I switched bowls, and I will begrudgingly acknowledge that it is important to be flexible. Hey, that's in the title of my blog after all and if there were ever a reason to be flexible surely that's it! I'm kidding. Yes, it wasn't a big deal to put in the extra dishes. Flexible about switching bowls I can be, but flexible about being conned into doing more dirty dishes no matter how much easier it might be to wash them hmmm...that might take a while to work on that.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: There is something to be said for flexible parenting.
I love that--I have that debate with myself ALL the time (Did I just cave or was that "choosing my battles"?)! Glad to know the psychologist was on my side, and yours.
My husband really has a hard time in being flexible. I wish he could have a psychologist tell him it's okay to give the kids what they request once in a while!!
Being rigid is important over certain issues but life is about being happy and if having a different bowl gave them some control and happiness, it was worth switching.
I know I've been MIA this week. I have been reminiscing a lot about my single days. No, not the images of being young and carefree but rather the memories of when I was able to call in to work, take the day off and then curl up in my blankets and go back to bed if I were sick. It was even better when I got my first cat because she snuggled up next to me. Ahh, those were the days: feverish, throwing up, dirty tissues covering the bed, but most importantly peace and quiet. I really and truly had those days off.
A couple of Fridays ago, I woke up at 1 am and threw up. I felt nauseated for a couple hours and then fell back asleep. I canceled everything for the day figuring I had the stomach flu. Nothing else happened though. My stomach felt delicate for a few days, but other than that I felt fine. I figured it was stress because we've had a lot going on and any time I've thrown up, whether from morning sickness or an amusement park ride, it's taken me a few days to be able to eat normally again. A couple of days later, I developed a sore throat for a couple of days, followed by a cold for a couple of days, followed by losing my voice followed by a trip to the doctor followed by spending the rest of the day in bed. Had I been back in my single days, I would have called in sick and curled up with my cat. I probably would have even had food delivered. However, I didn't feel feverish, and to "call in sick" would involve my husband calling in sick to work and I can pretty much guarantee there wouldn't have been peace and quiet. Plus the cat still hasn't gotten over the fact that I had kids and tends to make herself scarce during the day. More than likely had I tried to snuggle with her she would have peed on my bed. I would complain to the management, but that would just be writing a letter to myself. I just tried to cut back on everything and to try not to be around too many people lest I expose them.
Apparently there is a virus going around that starts with GI issues and then morphs into a cold. Of course, anything could have brought me to the royal throne, so I may or may not have had this virus. However, it had gone on long enough to not feel right and more importantly for that sore throat to prevent me from doing my two most favorite things: eating and talking. For the record, my kids loved it because I also couldn't yell at them and they couldn't really hear anything I told them to do. My doctor prescribed antibiotics because she was concerned that I was developing a sinus infection. As I described it, "This is the crappiest I have felt in years." Whether the virus ran its course, I had been suffering from allergies that developed into something more, or the problem really was bacterial, the antibiotics seemed to do the trick. Hopefully in the next day or so my voice will fully return. In the meantime, I highly recommend the Spooky Friend-Z from Friendly's. Yes, it is everything that you should not feed your kids: sugar and artificially colored orange. I enjoyed it immensely. Of course I also couldn't really taste anything either!
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: It is easier to get ill with kids. It is easier to be ill without kids.
My friend, who's one of those parents who only fed her children organically grown things that she grew herself, handmade baby food, no television, only reading, etc., etc. listened to me whine about being sick when C was about the age of YS.
This is what she said,"Buy tons of junk food, put together a pile of his fave videos, and you get comfy on the couch and just let him sugar and stupor his way through your illness. He'll get back to normal when you do."
My jaw dropped and I was shocked, but it actually worked. I got the rest I needed, got back on my feet more quickly, and C was (really) no worse for the wear.
Is there some monkey virus going around? I swear everyone I talk to is getting sick and for a long time, including me. Starting at labor day weekend, I walked around with a cold for a month. And probably b/c I couldn't just curl up in bed with my cat, too. B/c those were the days, I have a cat also and did the same thing, pre-kids days.
I am still looking for bloggers to do blogger reviews. Did I mention that there are going to be prizes? In fact there will be prizes for both bloggers and blog readers! Click here for more info.
Sometimes as a parent I get so got up in all of life's excitment (like trying to explain to my sons why they can't wear their swim suits and use the sprinklers when it is 40 degrees out) that I blank on telling my friends stories about the truly embarrassing hilarious parts of parenting. Or perhaps I just blank on them because I'm hoping in time I'll think they happened to another parent.
When I was on the phone with Sally HP this evening, I referenced the following story without realizing that I had somehow failed to share it with her in any of our almost daily conversations.
A couple months ago I was at a farm and splash pad with my boys. They were having such a good time that we stayed a little longer than our friends. I had forgotten to put a swim diaper on my younger son (YS) despite the fact that I could probably build a home from the pile of swim diapers we have in our hall closet. Of course, I've never been truly impressed with swim diapers, because as I mentioned in my second post as a blogger, in my opinion they're just poop catchers; they don't absorb anything. Of course if they were absorbent, they would swell to gigantic proportions like regular diapers when they get wet. Plus my kids never do number 2 in them; they like liked to wander off to a quiet corner for that and not a crowded public area.
In fact, YS wandered off just like that and ended up standing behind a roped off grass area. Annoyed that he was where he shouldn't have been, I told him to either return to the splash pad or come over to me if he was finished to be changed back into clothing. It is very common for parents to change their kids in and out of their swim suits at the picnic table areas on the perimeter of the splash pad. YS and OS were both apparently almost done splashing. After jumping through every bit of spray between where they were and where I was, they came over to me. OS stripped off his suit, and I handed him his clothes. Then I turned my attention to YS. I quickly stripped off his suit too. Apparently I did it a little too quickly becase I saw something large roll under a picnic table. OS loudly annouced that there was "a big poop under the table". In case anyone missed his first announcement, he clarified the situation by announcing, "YS made a big poop! It's under the table!!!" In fact OS was so impressed by it, he couldn't stop talking about it and how big it was. I was simutaneously trying to quiet OS and find wipes. Except that I had already used the wipes I had brought with me. How was I going to get rid of this turd? Seriously, it looked like something one of the animals had done. Maybe I could say that a cow had wandered over the fence?
Fortnately, that day was one of the rare times where the farm actually had a container of wipes at a nearby table. I tried to inconspiciouly grab it so as not to alert those eating lunch near the world's largest, although most perfectly formed, poop. Not knowing what else to do with it, I grabbed it with some wipes and threw it in the trash. Before you judge, people throw diapers in those trash bins all the time, probably because the bathrooms are pretty far off. Plus it's a farm so it always smells like manure. Yes, I know there is some rationalization here, but even though I prefer to throw dirty diapers in the bathroom trash, with two naked little boys and a wet, torn swim diaper that I couldn't fasten up neatly with the tabs to secure the deposit, there weren't a lot of options.
I say two naked boys because after dealing with the "incident", I noticed that OS didn't have a stitch on him. Feeling even more frazzled, I yelled at him to put his underwear on immediately. That of course caught the attention of the nearby picnickers. One of them started telling me that her son who was the same age as OS would go to school naked if she didn't nag him to put clothes on about 30 times every morning. I was worried that they would get a little too close in this bonding moment over exhibitionist children and start to smell the trash. I really wanted to make a quick escape before that happened or before OS went back to telling everyone about his brother's...accomplishment in the trash. Like a mad woman, I gave a little laugh which came out more like a yelp and shoved OS into his underwear and clothes. He let out a lot of yelps. Then I shoved the beach towel package in the stroller basket, grabbed both boys, and made a beeline for the car. Fortunately, I have not seen my picture on any wanted posters at the farm. Also fortunately, YS's suit washed well (it was his good swim suit!) and there were no "stains".
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Swim diapers do not absorb pee.
Love those bonding moments don't you? At least we all know that no parent has been unscathed... whatever your kid's doing, they've probably seen before!
I might be interested in Jooners/ It might be something useful for my PTA work. I need to organize the craft fair and so it could come in handy. Let me know details at katebunge@yahoo.com.
AHhhh! I just read this, and was laughing all over again! I can't believe that you didn't call me on the way home or something. It's totally like the times that you fall and you're by yourself but others saw and you have to tell someone...had I been there I would never have recovered from the laughter, so I guess it's a good thing. I would have been more embarassing to you than the turd!
Today my older son (OS) had a hearing test and ENT appointment to check on the ear tubes that he got at 22 months. Since he still has the ear tubes at five, the insurance company has definitely gotten their money's worth out of them! Of course the appointment was during what would otherwise have been my younger son's (YS) nap time, so a very crabby YS accompanied us to this appointment.
It had crossed my mind that now that OS is five, he might have a standard hearing test instead of the little kids' one where they hear a sound from two speakers on opposite sides of the both and if they look where that sound came from, a toy raccoon lights up and claps it's hands or a toy pig lights up and moves it's legs back and forth. I have always been impressed by the sensitivity of his hearing; I often only realize that the audiologist has played a sound when I see OS staring at the clapping raccoon. Then again, I also lost some of my hearing from childhood ear infections which is one of the reasons OS was sitting at the ENT's office in the first place!
Sure enough the audiologist explained that OS was to wear headphones with special ear plugs on them. "Good luck with that!" I thought. Then she explained that every time OS heard a sound, he needed to clap his hands. I seriously thought this might be a recipe for a silly fit from OS or at the very least flat out refusal to cooperate. He seemed pretty excited about it though and sure enough he participated perfectly. The trend of perfection continued when the audiologist asked him to repeat back several words.
OS and I received so many compliments on his behavior that I almost forgot that YS was under the chair pitching a fit throughout most of the testing. What would upset YS about OS's ENT appointment? Well one of the words that OS had to repeat was "hot dog," and since YS also apparently can hear properly, he heard "hot dog" and suddenly decided he needed one. Yes, YS and I did have to leave and wait in the waiting room, which left OS unfazed. On the other hand, YS continued escalating his tantrum into a grand fit as he passed through the lobby topped off by throwing off his new rain boots.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: It is impossible for both children in a family to behave well at the same time.
Wow I'm surprised they've let him have the tubes in that long. My son had them put in at 10 months and they removed the one that hadn't fallen out after 2 years.
I sort of miss those audiologist trips though. He had so much fun and charmed all the ladies on the floor.
If he still has them in March (his next appointment) they're going to schedule him for surgery to remove them since he hasn't had any problems with ear infections.
Good for OS! I can't say that I blame YS for his tantrum, though. Poor kid missed his nap time and wanted a hot dog. Still, I'm glad that I didn't have to deal with it. :)
When I went to get the kids up this morning, my younger son (YS) was just waking up and my older son (OS) was bouncing all over the place. Usually it's the opposite. I think it's because unfortunately we had the pleasure of finding OS taking up the entire bed curled up in bed with us last night thus allowing the boys to sleep in separate rooms and prolonging their usual morning shouting matches brotherly playing. YS seemed groggy, but I didn't think too much of it. As usual, I was distracted with OS's theatrics. Poor second born YS!
After breakfast, I noticed that YS was walking around with a really bizarre expression on his face. It looked like his cheeks were sunken inward and his lips were pursed together. I did a finger sweep and found a piece of cheese in his mouth. He had "eaten" a piece of string cheese with breakfast. Thinking it was resolved I went back to the important things in life like loading the dishwasher and checking email. However, when I looked over at YS, a few minutes later he still had that same expression on his face. Again, I did a finger sweep and found another piece of cheese (the breakfast dishes had long been cleared so this was the same piece from breakfast.)
I de-slimed my finger and went back to what I was doing. However, another glance over at YS revealed the same expression. Then with a sinking feeling I realized that I hadn't heard him speak all day. Not even his usual "No, OS!!!!!" at breakfast that happens at least a half a dozen times. I bolted up from the couch and did yet another finger sweep except this one was empty. I started to get nervous. What the heck was wrong with his face? I tried to coax him to say some words. Nothing. Why couldn't he swallow that cheese that I had removed? Was there a problem with his facial muscles? I called the Big Giraffe who asked to speak to YS after I not so calmly told him my concern. YS began speaking to him, but his words were mumbled.
I was a little panicky at this point, but felt better that at least he was talking. He already had a doctor's appointment scheduled for this morning for a weight check. Plus he was playing normally with OS. He was also making good eye contact. Other than the weird expression and the fact that he wasn't saying anything, he seemed fine. I decided to finish getting us ready. I did a final finger sweep and again there wasn't anything there. However, when I went to brush YS's teeth a few minutes later, he began to act squirrelly. After a wrestling match a battle of wills, I discovered why: there was a small piece of cheese lodged under his tongue that he was sucking on.
I pried it out of his mouth and almost lost my fingers in the process. It was just like in the movies where a baby is born and a few seconds later they began to cry (my kids came out crying.) There was a moment of silence where I could see the wheels turning in his eyes and his mouth gearing up to let out an ear piercing scream that he wanted the cheese back. Things were fortunately back to normal.
The pediatrician said it was a toddler power struggle. She welcomed YS to the world of being two. Great. In the meantime, YS put on a pound an a half! The progress is good and on track. He's to continue with his current diet including whole milk and be re-checked in three months. Yes, I still am envious of my own child!
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: The cheese stands alone; hopefully it's not standing alone under your child's tongue.
That's great that he gained weight so quickly. What is the special diet that YS is on, can I find it somewhere? Our doctor advised us last week to up our son's calories. He's pretty picky so that'll be challenging.
My older son (OS) and I had been looking forward to today. After the Big Giraffe got home from work, we planned to run a couple of errands together, including ordering birthday cakes and ending with getting ice cream cones. Needless to say, we were both pretty excited about it.
First on the agenda was stopping at a Tae Kwon Do studio recommended to us by a friend. OS is interested in taking lessons in the fall. We observed a class, and I got to ask one of the instructors some questions. We also made arrangements for OS to take a trial class. All of OS's prior outside activities have been activities that either the Big Giraffe or I did as kids. Alright so all only means swimming and parent child t-ball, but still... OS asked me what my Tae Kwon Do uniform looked like when I was a little girl. I explained to him that back when I was a little girl, it wasn't very common for little girls to take martial arts where I lived. In fact, I don't know any girls my age who took it. OS was completely shocked. I mentally juggled several theories on sexism and gender before simply saying that people realized it was silly and that's why now both little boys and little girls are encouraged to participate in martial arts and many other sports.
We went to our wholesale club where OS ordered a small princess birthday cake for his at-home party and a larger emergency vehicle birthday cake for his big kids' party. I was careful not to express my opinion, so that he picked what he wanted. He was so ecstatic that he was literally hopping up and down. In fact he hopped out to the parking lot and we headed out to Friendly's for ice cream. He proudly told everyone about his two birthday cakes.
We then settled down to talk over ice cream. After talking more about his birthday cakes, OS wrinkled up his face and disbelievingly asked me to confirm that no little girls the I knew took Tae Kwon Do when I was little. I could see why he was confused. First of all, it doesn't make sense. Second, there were obviously girls taking Tae Kwon Do now. The instructor who helped us was female, and there were girls in the class that we observed. Finally, a child who orders one princess cake and one emergency vehicle cake clearly does not feel bound by any gender stereotype. Yeah, he was right to be confused! He wanted to know if I had wanted to take Tae Kwon Do. I started to describe Karate Kid. I was getting into it when I realized that OS had a glazed look in his eyes. He wanted to know if I ever would take martial arts. I looked on the class schedule we were given and sure enough adult Tae Kwon Do is offered. My last triathlon of the season is over in a couple weeks.... surely it wouldn't hurt to look into it. I mean you could even go say far as to say that I would really be doing myself a disservice by not trying out a sample class, right? Boy won't the Big Giraffe be surprised when he reads this post!
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: While Tae Kwon Do was not always an option for girls in the past, it is now available for girls and women of all ages.
I took gymnastics as a kid, and I loved it. But I also don't know any girls who took martial arts in our area. Interesting. I did take Aikido once in college, and I was beyond awful in it. I'll be curious to hear about your martial arts experiences.
Could We Really Be...Dare I Say it... Diaper Free?
It started a little before I left for BlogHer. My younger son (YS) announced one day that he was a big boy. This was followed by his request for underwear. I thought it was very cute, but there was no way I was going to let him be potty trained. After all, I was an expert on potty training. I successfully potty trained my older son (OS) with minimal work and, more importantly, published two blog posts on the subject. You can't get better credentials than that!
"This experience reminded me of why I'm a big fan of waiting until a child is three to be potty-trained. At three they'll potty train in a couple of days, and their bladders are large enough that you'll never have to abandon a shopping cart of frozen foods to explore the scary bathrooms in the bowels of the grocery store while hoping that the creepy teenage sales clerk who's lurking around will go back to playing with his...iPod. Not that parents of young children don't get to enjoy the memorable grocery store bathroom experience for other reasons, such as pregnancy or when shopping after a workout during which you have drunk an entire large sports bottle of water. Potty-training is even better if you wait until children are 8 because they can do their own laundry. So maybe I'm kidding about the last part.
"I am back to my plan of holding off on potty training until YS turns three or hires an attorney to convince me that he was ready."
As you can see, I did not intend to permit any unauthorized potty training in my house. As usual with parenting, just when I think I have something figured out, I am proven wrong. Hmmm...I wonder if this blog is going to provide ammunition for my sons in their teenage years. YS was pretty persistent about getting underwear when I got back from BlogHer and I really meant to get him some, but I didn't have a chance before we left for our vacation. When we were in the Catskills we forgot his swim diapers, despite the fact we have about a million of them in our linen closet, and he was able to tell us in advance of needing the bathroom except when IN one long line in the water park where he peed on my foot. However, he was scared of the toilet and we didn't have a potty chair with us so we gave him a diaper to use until we were able to get more swim diapers. Now we are the proud owners of 1,000,005 swim diapers.
The Big Giraffe and I discussed it when we got back. He's only 25 months and we didn't want to push him. However on Thursday he asked for underwear again so I took him to the store to let him pick it out. Knock on wood big time here, perhaps I should take a moment to knock on every tree in our backyard as well, but so far no accidents! He even managed to successfully pee in the bathroom at Old Navy today, which the Big Giraffe said was actually somewhat more upscale than what might have been found at a grocery store. Everyone was very proud! We'll see where we're at on Thursday. I'm scared to say it, but we might actually be diaper free; at least for the daytime anyhow.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Sometimes parents don't know everything; just don't tell my kids!
Man,my almost 2 year old will not keep a diaper on short of duct tape... which I have seriously considered. She has been asking and asking and asking for big girl panties for weeks.
Sometimes parents don't know everything? I think some days I would settle for knowing anything. Isn't there some rule that the second child is supposed to do everything different than the first so that the parents can't make any generalizations? That is how my mom makes it sound.
Although I only attended law school for three days, I would like to act as YS's legal counsel after the fact and request that my godson be allowed to continue his quest to be potty trained. You'll have our "briefs" soon. Ha ha ha.
WOW! That would be terrific. My older son is finally making progress with the potty. Maybe his baby brother will be interested at a younger age, like YS.
I think I may have told you before that is how my daughter did it as well. Just announced that she would be needing big girl pants and basically took care of it herself: At TWO YEARS OLD! And my first experience being over THREE when he deemed the toilet worthy to use, I wasn't expecting it at all from Emma, and yet, there it was. In HER time. Shows just what cumulative parenting knowledge gets you, eh?
Can I say I hate you? Is that ok? I have a 3.5 year old who I thought was trained and then this week, on vacation, nothing but accidents. Vacation potty training regression can happen, right, right?
Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.
you are amazing if the boys have not heard the F bomb until now? I'm sure it'll be part of my children's early vocabulary.