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| Wednesday, November 14, 2007 |
So I Have to Say I Love It in a Blog |
Last night I gave my presentation on blogging. I never really realized how big a topic blogging was until I needed to try and cram it into an hour and a half informal talk. Being the geek that I am, I put together a PowerPoint presentation. I even had a slide about why people blog. I planned to speak about why I like blogging. And I did...sort of, but not really. I mean I practiced what I was going to say, but when the time came, I started to lose steam on that subject. I think I did okay on the factual parts of the talk, where I covered subjects like types of blogs, comments, security, and choosing a blogging tool. When it came to making it personal, however, I struggled with my own emotions.
To completely distort the lyrics from the old Jim Croce song...
Ev'ry time I tried to say it, the words just came out wrong.
So I'll have to say why I write...in my blog.
I started blogging because I was passionate about talking about how isolated my need to bottle feed my babies made me feel. I was frustrated with the lack of information about how to do it. I knew all along though that I didn't want to solely talk about formula. I also wanted to talk about all the other "formula-like" experiences that I had or lessons learned that I wish someone else had told me. Hence the "flexible parenting" part of my blog name.
My first year as a SAHM was really hard for me. I felt very conflicted about vet school and motherhood. In all honesty, a lot of times I still do. Added on top of that was the feeling that I lacked a certain motherhood gene that everyone else seemed to possess. I didn't instinctively know what cute little songs to sing, how to soothe a baby or quite frankly how to navigate the landscape of baby classes and playdates. Sometimes I would feel overwhelmed. Sometimes I felt amused. Many times I was both overwhelmed and amused. It still cracks me up that we had to sing songs as part of a lap-sit storystelling class at the library. Song singing never occurred to me when I signed up for the class. My ears will forever ring with the sound of wounded animals my pathetic singing attempts whenever I go into my public library.
One of my biggest struggles, was that I often felt like I didn't know what I was doing. Truth be told, I still feel like that a lot. In all honesty I'm sure many of my friends in real life also don't always feel like they know what they're doing either. However, knowing, just off the top of my head, that there are others like me who have also found string cheese in their son's bed and had to also convince their child not to eat it, makes me feel immensely better. I can't say that's something that I would bring up in an everyday conversation. At least not without a glass of wine or a good piece of chocolate cake (which despite my wishes is not an everyday experience). What blogging did though was it allowed me to see that I wasn't the only one who felt like that. It took away the competition that I put on myself in my every day life. I feel like through blogging I have met other moms who are like me and other people who aren't parents or who aren't like me whatsoever but who make me laugh, have viewpoints that I find intriguing, or have life experiences that fascinate me.
Mostly though in terms of my own personal writing, I think it has made me a little saner. It has allowed me to reflect on how I really feel about things. I tend to be a somewhat private person when it comes to expressing feelings. Honestly, I don't think most of my blog posts are very emotionally revealing. However, when I sit down to type a post, I do spend time reflecting on what I'm going to write, even when the subject is silly or ridiculous like my husband's car getting egged or crazy schemes to be a millionaire. (Okay, Big Giraffe, I am not saying that the egg on your car was a big joke.) It forces me to take a little "me time" where as cheesy as it sounds, I get to check in with myself.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: If you can't express the sentiment out loud, write it in your blog.Labels: Blogging Flexibly, Bottles, Mom-Care |
posted by Alex Elliot @ 9:15 PM   |
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| Monday, October 15, 2007 |
Feeding Baby in Disney |
I know when planning your Disney vacation two questions pop into your mind - How old does my baby need to be before I can ride all the adult rides?
- Is there a place to heat up a bottle/nurse?
Fortunately, both questions have simple answers. The first is thirty. The answer to question two is yes.
I was quite intrigued by the Baby Care Centers in Disney World. In fact the Big Giraffe casually inquired whether or not we would be visiting one during our date night so that I could blog about it. Silly, Big Giraffe. Of course not! There's no reason to wait a whole week when we walked past one every time we walked into the Magic Kingdom. And sure enough, I grabbed my 15 month old and checked it out.
So what exactly is in the Baby Care Center? Just like everything else in Disney, it was well thought out and very clean. There were comfy chairs when I walked into the center. There is a separate room with a closed door for nursing moms only. I didn't investigate that since I'm not a nursing mom although according to this review from MousePlanet, it is open to moms who are bottle feeding their babies. However, I'm no longer doing that either. I do love the idea of moms whether they're formula feeding or breastfeeding being able to feed their baby in a clean comfortable environment. There was a kitchen where you could heat bottles and baby food. Forgot formula, baby food, diapers, baby Tylenol, etc.? Not to worry, because you could buy it right there. (A friend of mine who goes to Disney every year told me that all that used to be free.) The Baby Center itself is sponsored by Carnation.
There is a room that is filled with nice high chairs and a few kids tables and chairs. I saw some parents of toddlers feeding their kids there. That makes a lot of sense because it is quiet and air conditioned. I know we found that just going inside a quiet building or other calm place to eat seemed to recharge the boys when they got overwhelmed or overstimulated. Another room was filled with 5 changing tables. I was pretty impressed. I'm assuming that the other centers are similar. In addition to the Magic Kingdom, you can find them at MGM, Epcot and Animal Kingdom. The previously mentioned review MousePlanet for great pictures and more details. 
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: In the place where dreams come true, women can breastfeed and formula feed beside each other in peace.Labels: Bottles, Breastfeeding, Formula, Travel |
| posted by Alex Elliot @ 7:07 PM |
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| Monday, August 06, 2007 |
Blog Round-Up on the Morning Show and Breastfeeding Ban |
Because the segment on Fox TV was so short, none of the panelists got to fully express our points of view. I wanted to do one final post to reinforce a couple of the arguments that I consider to be most critical, and to link to all of the posts that I have seen that have further discussed and debated what happened on that show. Several of them include vigorous comment exchanges representing both sides of the issue. I would recommend that anyone who is interested in either side of the argument take a scan.
- An actual clip showing a small part of the segment may be found on the show's website.
- I wrote 4 posts related to the show: The Latest Formula Ban which was the original explanation of my opposition to banning formula samples for new moms, Formula Fed and Flexible Parenting will be on Fox TV Tomorrow!!!! which announced the show, Thank You and "Got Clip" which includes my effort to thank so many of you for your outpouring of supportive comments, email, and link love, and So What was It Like in which I shared what it was like for me to be on the show.
- Suzanne also wrote several posts about the show on CUSS and Other Rants including This Just In which was a shout-out announcing it in which expressed her support. "I am excited to sit in the audience and give her a big thumbs up as she talks. I think it is no one's business to question why a woman uses formula." Suzanne also wrote Formula Feeding and Beaver Suckling which described her experience backstage before the show, and More Beaver Suckling which included some further reflections on the show.
- Mrs. Chicky wrote Let's Hear it for Alex on New England Mamas providing a succint summary of what actually transpired on the air and sharing her personal support.
- Amy spawned an extremely vigorous debate on formula feeding and the ban with her post on Club Mom entitled Blogger Takes on the Ban. Her words spoke directly to the issue of social pressure and guilt in saying "My first lactation consultant -- the one who admitted I needed to supplement, and supplement NOW -- described the formula in hospital bags like "sending someone home from rehab with crack in their suitcase."" She also clearly argued that just because breast milk may be best, does not make formula a bad choice when it is appropriate. "Breast milk is amazing. It's wonderful, almost miraculous stuff. But like Alex said, formula is not rat poison either...We moms have enough pressure and choices to obsess and worry about already. Give us our choices, give us support and information, give us encouragement. Not a stupid "I Eat At Mom's" onesie.""
- Jodi also shared her personal experiences in Yeah for Alex stating "I tried, I failed, I moved on. But not without a substantial amount of guilt. Look, we all know breast milk is better. There is no debate on that. But not all of us can, or, want to nurse. For me it was an impossibility." Jodi also challenged why a formula ban should even be a priority of our government. "I also think our Government has more important things to worry about. Aren't we in a war? Doesn't NYC have crime, poverty, school funding issues?"
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- Kristen earns two distinctions. First, she is responsible for announcing my appearance on Fox from the most places, including from Motherhood Uncensored, the Blog Exchange with Blog Exchange Participant Alex Elliot on Mike and Juliet Today, and, with Julie, posting Parent Bloggers in the News on the Parent Bloggers Network. Second, her link from Motherhood Uncensored is one of the few things that I have ever seen leave my husband, The Big Giraffe, at a loss for words. Since he is Jewish, we both got a few chuckles from this blog getting a link from a post entitled A Woody with a Hoody Can be Sort of Goody.
With all that said, I want to share five key points that I consider most critical in this debate.
- As I said in my original post, "As women, I think we are able to make our own decisions. I think as parents we do the best that we can, and we make the decisions that we feel are in the best interests of our own children."
- Banning formula samples has the biggest impact on people who want to breastfeed and plan to breastfeed but can't. When my older son (OS), the Big Giraffe, and I got back from the emergency room at 3am when he was a week old, we knew that he had not been getting enough to eat. We were told to give him as much formula as he would drink. The hospital formula samples saved the Big Giraffe from having to choose between taking a dehydrated newborn out to a pharmacy in the middle of the night or leaving a dehydrated newborn in my care one week after I underwent 40 hours of labor followed by a c-section. Both of those choices were unpalletable. Not every community has a nearby 24 hour pharmacy. I know several other people who had almost identical experiences. It is great in the abstract to say that mothers can still request formula samples, but the people who most want to breastfeed are least likely to request those samples. The ban is potentially harmful to those families.
- Using formula samples in time of need does not preclude women from going back to breastfeeding if they can do so and want to do so. I continued trying to breastfeed OS for several weeks (with heavy supplementing) until my lactation consultant told me that we could not make it work, and I tried again with my younger son (YS). Several commenters shared similar experiences, and I know many women personally who used formula for support, not as a crutch.
- Even if some women abandon breastfeeding when the going gets touch if formula samples are available, Christina provided a comment sharing eyewitness accounts of mothers who fed their newborns regular cow milk if they were unable to breastfeed, which is far worse than any formula.
- While breastfeeding is better than formula feeding, when it works, formula feeding is better than starving a child when breastfeeding does not work.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: There are a lot of strong feelings around how best to nurture children.Labels: Bottles, Breastfeeding, Formula |
| posted by Alex Elliot @ 4:04 PM |
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| Monday, July 23, 2007 |
A Farewell to Formula |
So this post has been coming for a while. Almost exactly a month ago, my younger son (YS) finished his last can of formula. Since we're not currently planning on having more children, my run with formula is over (this is not to say that I won't still be posting about formula and formula related topics.)
It probably seems a little weird to have a post reflecting on my second one-year stint with formula. It's over! Let's celebrate! After all, I never found the prospect of formula exciting. Both times that I was unable to breastfeed, I was concerned that a whole year of formula loomed ahead of me. A whole year of extra expenses, carting around bottles, washing bottles and let's not forget about a whole year where I felt like the odd woman out every time I pulled out a bottle in public.
When I was told by the lactation consultant to throw in the nursing bra so to speak with my older son (OS) I was at really freaked out by the health and emotional concerns of not breastfeeding. This was quickly followed by the financial aspects of formula feeding. A friend pointed out that formula feeding has a beginning, a middle and most importantly an end. It's not something that goes on forever. Barring any problems, it's 12 months from start to finish. During both of my years with formula, I looked forward to the days when I wouldn't have to drop $31 at BJs for each can of formula. I thought of all the money I could have been saving and what I would do with all the money I would be saving when my kids switched to whole milk.
Here's what I've found now that I've gone through this twice. Yes, formula feeding is expensive. However, once solids are introduced the amount of formula that is consumed is less. So really you're not paying the same amount for formula each month for all 12 months.
Kids are expensive. More importantly as they get older, they want and need different things. Yes, this month we didn't have to pay for YS to drink formula. However, we have paid for him to eat lunch and dinner when we go out because not only is he old enough to really enjoy going on family outings, but he now eats what we eat. We also will be paying for him to do swimming lessons because he is old enough. I also have paid for a family membership at the Y because he's both old enough both to enjoy some of the tumbling classes and to participate in my favorite service: the childwatch.
Yes, these are isolated events and of course are choices not necessities, but my point is that I wish I could go back in time to visit myself during the first few days of being a new and terrified mom and point out that the formula cost is relative. We've got a nice preschool tuition bill due for OS soon!
As for the emotional and health aspects? Well, I can honestly say as the mother of an almost 4 year old, I can't think of the last time someone asked me if OS was breastfed. As quickly as I was thrust into the world of breastfeeding (or lack of breastfeeding) it ended. Now when OS is sick, I'm just the mom of a sick four year old. Never mind when I was last asked about OS; I can't even think of the last time I was asked about breastfeeding YS! Now that we're entirely responsible for making sure that he gets all the vitamins and minerals he needs, I sometimes miss that fortified bottle of formula. Thankfully Enfamil makes daily infant and toddler vitamins!
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: The cost and inconvenience of infant formula may pale in comparison to the cost and inconvenience of keeping older children fed.Labels: Bottles, Breastfeeding |
| posted by Alex Elliot @ 9:36 PM |
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| Thursday, March 15, 2007 |
The End of an Era is Approaching |
Today was one of those days where everything took just a little longer than it should have. When waiting in the pickup/drop off line at preschool, someone parked their car in front of me and someone else was pulled up directly behind me (with someone was behind them) and thus I was blocked in and holding up the line. Thankfully the person in front of me finally moved their car. Dunkin' Donuts messed up my coffee order and tried to give me a buttered bagel instead of a latte; while it was tempting I really wanted my coffee, so I had to wait at the window while they fixed the order. Just little things like that happened. I still am having a lot of frustration with trying to find a charitable organization to pick up the leftovers from the yard sale that the my moms group is having. None of the organizations are able to commit at this time and doing it at the last minute as they have suggested makes me incredibly nervous.
The guy from the fitness equipment store never called me back, and, since there's a slight chance, by which I mean a sure thing, that I may have consumed a few too many Girl Scout cookies, I decided to give him a call back. Turns out Jason wasn't available to help me, but Sean was. I carefully explained to him how the treadmill in my basement was possessed. Not too surprisingly there was no failure code for "possessed treadmill." After offering to contact someone to perform an exorcism, he found the code for "problem with motor". He also reassured me that no one he knows keeps the safety key clipped to them. Apparently it looks like the motor is under a 5 year warranty meaning that we would only have to pay for labor Sean was supposed to call me either this evening or tomorrow morning after he confirms with the manufacturing company. Looks like it will be tomorrow morning. Upon hearing Sean's response, my husband was quick to point out that he always uses the safety clip. (I have a secret suspicion that my husband also used a pocket protector in high school.) He also wanted to know if the exorcism was cheaper than having someone come out to fix the machine.
After dealing with the fitness equipment store, I settled into the couch to feed my younger son (YS) his bottle. He started pushing my hands away from the bottle and fussing. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Finally he gave me a look that basically said "Hey, idiot let go of the bottle!" I let go of the bottle, and he gave it to himself. I was stunned. My older son (OS) never once held his own bottle in the 13 months he used it. It was our special time together. In fact since OS could use a sippy cup well before being weaned from the bottle I was convinced that he was intentionally refusing to hold a bottle so we could snuggle together. While I was impressed and happy that YS is able to hold his own bottle, I feel a little sad too. Probably more so since, having been unable to breastfeed, I really treasure those snuggle times with him. That's my time to gaze into his eyes and coo with him. However, in reality that usually doesn't happen because 1) There's usually something else going on like OS trying to check the dog's ears with his toy otoscope 2) When I coo to YS he starts laughing and stops eating. However, no matter what is going on, we still can snuggle together. At least for now he's still letting me hold him, and when he had his evening bottle he only held it for a couple of minutes before rubbing his eyes and letting me take over. We'll see what happens tomorrow. One lesson I've learned in parenting is that many times I see previews of milestones weeks before the actual milestones become permanent.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: They grow up so fast!Labels: Bottles, Humor (at least Attempted), Toys / Clothes / Gear |
| posted by Alex Elliot @ 9:37 PM |
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| Sunday, February 11, 2007 |
Bottle Feeding Tip: Baby's Posture |
I thought I would share a quick bottle feeding tip. When bottle feeding a baby, make sure that her head is up higher than her belly. In other words don't give her a bottle lying down. This can cause the fluid in her mouth to back up in her ear leading to an ear infection (See The Best Position for Feeding.) This doesn't guarantee that your baby won't get an ear infection (my 7 month is always bottle fed like this and he has an ear infection) but it can help prevent it.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Make your baby's head is higher than her belly when bottle feeding.Labels: Bottles, Formula |
| posted by Alex Elliot @ 10:08 PM |
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| Saturday, January 20, 2007 |
Formula Fed and Flexible Parenting Goes Undercover III |
Once again Formula Fed and Flexible Parenting received the opportunity to go undercover. By that I mean that my older son (OS) had an appointment with a pediatric dentist. Since the last time I took OS was quite an ordeal for me (although I was told he did well which may me wonder what the kids who didn't do well were doing) combined with the fact that this time I was told they would be a smidge more aggressive with the cleaning, I decided that the dentist appointment would be the perfect father son bonding experience. (My husband did not appear enthusiastic, but I was looking for compliance not contentment.) Of course I couldn't miss an opportunity to extract...I mean obtain information of course...for myself and my blog.
I had my husband ask the dentist the following question: "Should our 5 month old who's solely bottle fed be using an orthodontic nipple?" The answer was "No, but if you see him start to suck his thumb, go out and get an orthodontic pacifier."
Wait a minute, what's the deal with that? Apparently when the term orthodontic is applied to bottle nipples, it means that the bottle nipple is shaped like the mother's nipple, while when applied to pacifiers, the term orthodontic means that the pacifier will help to promote good oral development. If OS were breastfed, I would be trying to minimize the chance for nipple confusion and might be very interested in an orthodontic bottle nipple. Since I do not breastfeed, this concern is not applicable to me. On the other hand, good oral development is relevent no matter how a baby eats.
If you should look at the Playtex website, you will see that orthodontic pacifiers such as Playtex Ortho-Pro are described as pacifiers that allow plenty of room for the teeth to come in as well as for the tongue to rest comfortably. The pacifiers that are described as most like the mom's nipples have names like MostLikeMomPacifier. However if you look at the Playtex Orthodontic nipple for example, it does say that it promotes oral development but it is also described as being similar to the mother's nipple. Likewise Gerber's orthodontic nipple is the NUK which is described as being most similar to the mother's nipple. The NUK pacifier is described as being orthodontic, but the pacifier that is described as being like the mom's nipple is the Gentle Flex.
The description of orthodontic nipples isn't really surprising. After all, since breastfeeding is natural, it would make sense that mother nature would provide the perfect orthodontic nipple. I just wanted to know if an orthodontic nipple was important for a non-breastfeed baby. Obviously you should run this by your own pediatrician or dentist if you're concerned.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Orthodontic can mean different things for bottles nipples and pacifiers; make sure you read the packaging or better yet ask your pediatrician. Labels: Bottles, Breastfeeding, Child Health and Personal Care, Toys / Clothes / Gear |
| posted by Alex Elliot @ 9:11 PM |
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| Monday, November 20, 2006 |
Traveling with Formula |
With the holidays just around the corner, I thought now would be a good time to post about how to travel with formula. When my older son (OS) was close to a year, I found out about formula dispensers. Since he was almost done with formula, I never bothered to get one. Instead, during the year he was on formula, I carried around the powder in one of the free sample canisters that I received. I would refill it a number of times, and then at some point I would receive another sample and I would recycle the former one. The exception to this was when OS was under 8 months and we would fly. Then I would use the Similac Ready to Feed bottles because that way I didn't have to bother with water. After that, he would just use a sippy cup of water or juice on the plane.
When I gave birth to my younger son (YS), I finally purchased this formula dispenser. I had really great hopes for it. Unfortunately, it did not work out as well as I had hoped. While less messy than traveling with a free sample canister, it is hard to get the formula out of the compartment. What I have found that works well are the single serving packets. Both Similac and Enfamil make them. Basically, each packet contains two scoops of powdered formula (or enough for 4 ounces). While they are on the pricey side, I have found for traveling that it's worth it. It's also great for babysitters because the instructions are written right on each packet so that there's no confusion. Even when I would leave out written instructions with the formula dispenser, there was often some confusion about exactly how many compartments to use, what constituted a compartment etc. With the free sample can, babysitters used to sometimes worry about how level did the scoop had to be.
I have yet to fly with YS under the new FAA regulations. I'll be really honest: I've heard from a friend that she was on a flight where the airline ran out of bottled water. It seems like the new regulations are confusing for everyone. I won't even get into the outrageous Delta "incident". When I do fly with YS, I think I will just go with the Nursettes, which are small containers of pre-made formula. Enfamil's are a pain because they're glass and not plastic, which means that they weigh more and are also more likely to break, but I still think they are more convenient than the alternative. According to the above link, it doesn't look like current FAA regulations set a limit on the amount of formula or expressed breastmilk that you bring on a flight. They ask that you just bring enough for the trip. I would love to hear from you if you've flown with your formula fed baby under these new regulations.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Sometimes it's worth paying the extra money for convenienceLabels: Bottles, Formula, Travel |
| posted by Alex Elliot @ 10:33 PM |
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I'm glad you blog, and I love your reasoning. I also loved the lesson learned today, and I think I'll stick to that myself.