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Saturday, December 12, 2009

Resembling Andy Rooney

I like to say that my aunt is a live copy of Our Bodies Ourselves. By that I don't mean that she is an open book. Rather, throughout the years she has given me honest information about what happens to our bodies as we age. She tells me all the obvious things like at 35 I'll have to get a mammogram, but she's also told me a lot of things that no one ever talks about like floaties in your eyes when you're in your 50's or your sphincter loosening as you get older. Maybe you flinched, but did you really know that loud gas was just a couple decades away? I always think of really old people.

The most recent life lesson learned was about eyebrows. Listen up because you're probably not going to hear about this from other moms on the soccer field. As you age, weird things start to happen with your eyebrows. There are two possible facets, and some people only experience one or experience both starting at different times. The first facet of funky eyebrow happening is getting white hairs in your eyebrows. Thankfully I have had yet to experience this one, although I will turn 34 next month...You may decide to just pluck them. Once one or two eyebrow hairs, right? Just hold that thought for a minute.

The second stage of strange eyebrow happenings is that your eyebrow hairs start to stick out. That's right out! Like an outie belly button. They may also be courser hence their ability to stick out. Again, you may just decide to pluck them.

So what's the problem? The answer is the torch of knowledge that my aunt has passed to me that I pass to you. At some point if you pluck all the white hairs and all the pipecleaner hairs, which of course may be tempting to do if they're a combo pack, you will either have no more eyebrows or you will have large bald spots. If you don't do something though you will look in the mirror one day and see Andy Rooney staring back at you.

So how to your solve this? First check out your eyebrows in the mirror on the back of the visor of the car or in a hotel because. Why in a hotel? Well most people blame the discomfort of travel for causing them not to look good in hotel mirrors. However, according to my aunt, the true cause is that hotel mirrors are great and picking up imperfections. When you start to notice eyebrow abnormalities, it's time to break down and spend the extra bucks on a makeup mirror. Then your real work begins.

Set up your mirror and grab a pair of nail scissors and an eyebrow pencil. Trim the spiky hairs and color in the white hairs if they bother you. As for myself, I spent a couple hours in the beauty salon getting highlights to hide my white hairs and had my eyebrows waxed so I thankfully no longer resemble Andy Rooney. Oddly enough though the hair dresser who's just 23 was complaining about these spiky eyebrow hairs that she's been getting. I told her about the makeup mirror and scissors.

I did learn one last, odd fact. Apparently barbers automatically trim men's eyebrows. In a way, however, that makes me even more perplexed. If barbers trim men's eyebrows, then what is the deal with Andy Rooney's eyebrows?

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: A makeup mirror and scissors are necessities, not desired gifts. I would not find it amusing, Big Giraffe, to receive them for my birthday.

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posted by Alex Elliot @ 4:49 PM   1 comments
1 Comments:

  • At 12/21/2009 2:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Back to accepting another's reality.No matter how honest and well meant, each of us has our own body, and they do not react in exactly the same way. One person's body reactions to aging is not necessarily another's, just as our experiences in life are not anothers. Accepting someone else's reality may result in confusion to ourselves. 34 is just an infant in eternity.

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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