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Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Missing Merlin

It's been a week now since Merlin passed away. We're OK. OK of course being said in a hesitant shaky voice. Let's just say the we, more specifically I, have been better. I wrote a little bit about it over at the New England Mamas on Monday.

It's hard to loose a pet and it's also a hard time of year. The kids seem to be alright. My older son came home from school very angry with me on Thursday for not allowing him to give Merlin a goodbye hug which is not true. He then burst into tears. He had another burst of anger and confusion on Friday, but for the most part he seems to be handling it well. His teacher let him bring an album with pictures of Merlin to school and they talked about Merlin in morning meeting. My younger son (YS) is only 3 and doesn't seem to have understood what happened. That's not too surprising. Yesterday he told someone that Merlin had died.

I was talking with a friend who's also an animal lover and she said that she actually thinks it's harder to loose a pet as an adult than as a child. Kids don't process time the same way that we do and they don't tend to have a comprehension of death. They also are always looking forward to the next exciting event. When you're 6 and 3 your whole life is one exciting event after another. I have to agree. I remember being upset when my childhood pets passed away but also being very excited to get another puppy. In fact I was OS's age when my first dog passed away and I remember asking if we could get a girl puppy. It's now as an adult that I really get what a pet's death means.

I find it very quiet around here. Too quiet. I didn't realize how many little rituals Merlin and I had. Like giving him the last bite of a banana or lick of a yogurt when I get back from working out in the morning. When it is just him and me and the whole house is still asleep...was just him and me.

YS was laughing in his sleep the other night. The next morning he said he had dreamed about Merlin. OS said he too had had a nice dream about Merlin. The Big Giraffe said he felt his presence that same night. I didn't have any of those experiences although I really wanted them.

Yesterday though I took YS to the library. Picture meltdown followed by big time parental cave in and you'll have the background. I didn't really want to be there. As we were walking through the parking lot I saw a golden retriever sticking his head out of the car window. The owner was on her cell phone. YS and I went over to pet the him. He was so excited to see me. He licked me and made excited sounds. I scratched his ears and asked how old he was. He was eight. The same age as Merlin. I looked at Doug and could really see the difference between him and how Merlin had been particularly these last couple weeks. He was so energetic and of course full of life. It really had been Merlin's time. I felt a sense of peace and happiness.

I know there are people who can wonder why I can be so upset over losing a pet. To me, it's a member of my family. A family member who I saw every single day and was always excited to see me. He was there when I needed him and my life was so much better for having him in it. To those people I say that this Thanksgiving when they're around the uncle that says something obnoxious, the great aunt that comments on their weight, and any other relatives that upset them I leave them this lesson learned:

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: You can't pet your relatives, but you can pick your pets.

Labels: ,

posted by Alex Elliot @ 7:11 AM   4 comments
4 Comments:

  • At 11/25/2009 6:18 PM, Blogger Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said…

    I'm so sorry, honey... Nothing I can say will help, I know. But I AM so sorry...

     

  • At 11/26/2009 10:41 AM, Blogger Goofball said…

    Loosing a pet as an adult is indeed very hard. I've never experienced it as a child

     

  • At 11/28/2009 11:45 PM, Blogger slouchy said…

    oh, hon.

    i am awfully sorry.

     

  • At 11/30/2009 12:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Merlin was a good doggie. I remember the first time I visited you in MA when he slept on the floor in the guest bedroom. You warned me that I might hear something that sounded like burglars were breaking into the house but it would just be Merlin running in his sleep on the hardwood floor:) Anytime I think about losing Benny, I get teary-eyed and have to stop and catch my breath. I'm so glad to hear that the kids are having nice dreams about Merlin and that Brian could bring photos to school. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you...
    -Steph

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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