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Monday, August 10, 2009

A Google Search I Wish I Hadn't Done

The good news is that I got a wetsuit on ebay last night! It's the brand I wanted and has long legs and long sleeves. I pictured myself looking all sleek in my new wetsuit. I would cut through the water like a fish, I would be one with the ocean life, in fact I would even look like a seal! Mother F*cker! I would look like a seal!

I don't know what on earth possessed me to do this, but I went ahead and googled shark sightings for Narragansett Beach where my ocean tri will be. Yeah, really not a good idea. Apparently they caught a great white off the coast on June 23rd of this year. See the reason I had even heard of Narragansett Beach long before this triathlon was one of the first summers we lived here, it was on the news all the time for shark sightings.

My research did reveal that the summer of 2003 was an odd summer for sharks and normally there aren't problems with the sharks. Also, while the sharks were spotted, there fortunately were not any attacks.

Still I wasn't feel to great about this. Because I was completely hooked as well as obviously insane, I went ahead and clicked on the National Geographic link for how to protect yourself against a shark attack. One of the rules they listed was not to go in the water if you're menstruating. Apparently sharks can detect blood up to a mile away and trace it back to the source. Great. I could have a shark in my crotch. Guess what I did next?

That's right I flipped through the calendar to see when Aunt Flo would be arriving. Of course I couldn't remember when the last time she was here. Umm....oh I remember, when I was swimming in the Witch Triathlon. That was the last day. What?!!! I swam an ocean swim on the rag?! It was at this point that the Big Giraffe tried unsuccessfully to tell me that I had a greater chance of getting into a car accident on the way to the triathlon. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The good news is that it looks like I'll be "safe" for this next swim. Frankly, I'm just going to will my uterus to stop production. That's how I got through 4 years of high school youth group retreats without ever having my period when it was supposed to arrive. Let's hope that my superhero powers still work. The bad news is that I realized that doesn't mean other women won't have their periods. Either I'll have to question any woman who steps up next to me when we line up or I'll just swim by men. I'm kidding.

I talked with a veteran triathlete and she told me that first of all she had never heard of a shark attack during a triathlon or even a shark sighting. Yes, I do know of that horrific fatal shark attack where the veterinarian died in CA last year. He was training for a triathlon with a group of 9 other people. Thank you to all of you who emailed it to me right before my first lake swim.

This woman told me that the perimeter is marked with motor boats, plus as a relay I'll be in the last wave. My spinning instructor started laughing and told me all this shark talk was making her nervous. She had never thought about it before and apparently the veteran triathlete hadn't either. These people aren't obsessive like me? What's wrong with them? How could they have never thought about it? Anyhow, my spinning instructor told me that she might be swimming with me in that triathlon. Sure, Tania. That's fine with me. As long as you don't have your period that is.

A. Elliot's Lessoned Learned: There is such a thing as too much information!

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posted by Alex Elliot @ 7:27 AM   5 comments
5 Comments:

  • At 8/10/2009 10:12 AM, Blogger Goofball said…

    You must buy a lottery ticket instead....it's pretty damn likely you'll win the top price ;). Because it has happened before that people win the top price so now it surely be you!

     

  • At 8/10/2009 10:36 AM, Blogger Jen of A2eatwrite said…

    I think Goofball's comments were spot on! ;-)

    Most people would be more scared about completing the triathlon. You GO, AE!!!

     

  • At 8/10/2009 10:44 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    I would totally do that too and freak myself out. Although I don't think I'd be able to do an ocean swim anyway. There are more than just sharks in there!

     

  • At 8/10/2009 12:38 PM, Blogger Sally HP said…

    Stop the insanity! :)

     

  • At 8/17/2009 8:22 PM, Blogger Suzanne said…

    Just make sure that everyone else uses tampons.

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.

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