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Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Big Swim


Last month I found out about an open water swim race to benefit a local swim team. It looked like a lot of fun so I decided to register. Unfortunately because of the date, I couldn't find anyone to do it with me. I joked that I was going to be the oldest person in the race.

The official told me that there were older people there. I don't believe it; I think I had a good twenty years on most of the swimmers there! She also insisted that there was no geriatric category, but I noticed that she dug through her papers to pull out a separate sheet from the rest of the registered swimmers that had my name a few others written on it. Age was not my only distinction. My superhero disguise, as I like to refer to my wetsuit, was not exactly subtle. I had assumed that wetsuits would be illegal since this event was through United States Master Swimming, but it turns out that it's up to the event director's discretion. Because it was an open water event and the weather was unseasonably chilly for August, she had mercy on us, so I got to race in my new suit.

I did run into someone I met at the Sudbury Sprint. He was doing his race with his ten year old daughter. I had a nice time chatting with them. I also was pleased to see that he too was wearing a superhero outfit.

I unfortunately achieved a negative personal milestone: I appeared to everyone as a true mom. Did you ever see that episode of Saturday Night Live where they mock mom jeans? I always wondered how those women could not realize how uncool they were. Fast forward to this weekend. I showed up to the race with my Christmas socks, plastic bag and wetsuit. I was magically transformed from cool hip 33 year old to a mom. OMG! My friend was transformed into a true dad.

The realization that I looked uncool wasn't the worst part. It was that I didn't even care. You should have seen these twelve year old girls staring at my friend and me as we donned our wetsuits. They seemed particularly interested in the socks and ziplock bag. Fortunately my kids weren't there to be humiliated. I don't even want to know how much that would cost in therapy bills.

Not caring that I looked uncool also wasn't the worst part; it was that I felt old. They had us line up by event: .5 mile, 1 mile and 2 mile. Turns out I was right about the geriatric group. Sure they claimed that the groups were based on how long we were each going to swim, but one look at those in the 2 mile group with me made it clear that it was a cruel reference to the fact that a few of the competitors already have more mileage on our personal odometers. Alright, there were a couple of young people in the 2 mile event, but most of them were doing the lesser events leaving only the Magnificent 7, most of us old enough to even get that reference, to swim 2 miles.

Looking prehistoric wasn't my biggest problem; it was the lack of visibility. The course was a 1 mile triangle, marked by 3 orange buoys that would have been bright and shiny beacons in calm waters under clear sunlight. Unfortunately not only was the water choppy, but the rain and fog made it difficult to see. In fact, many swimmers couldn't even see the first buoy from the shore. We were told to aim for the beach across from us. You can see me in the picture wearing the black wetsuit, but you can't see a buoy. We started, and I reached the first buoy without a problem. I had a harder time seeing the next two buoys, but I was able to keep my bearings by glancing at the bright orange swim caps of those who were swimming 1 mile. Then I passed the third buoy, and restarted the course for the second mile, while the hordes of youth who were only swimming 1 mile left the water. Suddenly only the Magnificent 7 were left, and we were then separated by distance and fog. I couldn't see anyone else. It was no longer so easy to keep my bearings.

I started the second mile well, again reaching the first buoy without a problem. I then confidently continued toward where I assumed the second buoy was; I couldn't make it out in the fog. I was intercepted by a lifeguard in a kayak who informed me I was a quarter of a mile off course. Apparently I created my own event: the 2.5 mile swim. I had swum parallel to the shore instead of diagonally. Whoops! A quarter mile out of the way and a quarter of the way back on course. The guy who finished after me did something similar, and I heard quite a few people saying that they had a hard time finding the buoys.

Unfortunately, adding extra distance was not my biggest problem. What was worse was my wardrobe malfunction. Ever since I was a kid, my friends and I have always made fun of the people who improperly wear their swim caps. You know the ones who have it perched on their heads with their hair hanging out of it? The ones who make a swim cap look like a beret or a ballcap? They always seemed to be really old. Like 30. In all my years of swimming I have had never had a problem with my swim cap...until yesterday. A wave knocked it almost all the way off, so I finished the race with my swim cap perched on my head and a curtain of hair hanging down the front of my face. When I mused to the Big Giraffe later that "My swim cap looked dorky," he shook his head and gave me a sympathetic look as he said, "Well technically, the swim cap didn't look dorky. You did." Brave words from the couch, BG!

In the end, however, appearing uncool, not caring about it, being old, having trouble seeing, adding extra distance, and having a swim cap wardrobe malfunction weren't my biggest problems. What the worst problem out of the whole event was that all of the young swimmers in the shorter events finished all of the hot chocolate before the Magnificant 7 got to shore.

Despite the challenges, I had a great time, and I learned of several new swim events for next year.

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: A hot drink can make up for dorkiness, age, and inconvenience.

Labels: ,

posted by Alex Elliot @ 8:31 AM   2 comments
2 Comments:

  • At 8/31/2009 6:00 AM, Blogger Goofball said…

    surface swimming seems so horrendous to me....your stories don't quite help to change my mind :p

     

  • At 8/31/2009 9:11 AM, Blogger Jen of A2eatwrite said…

    Oh my goodness, Alex, you can DO 2.5 miles and you're feeling old? Think POWERFUL, woman! If the "oldsters" were doing the 2-mile swim, they ROCK. Wear that uncoolness proudly!

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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