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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up

When I started this blog, it was to be able to talk about what it was like to formula feed a baby. However, I quickly realized that it also was a great way to let family and friends know what was going on with us. This is a post for them.

Today started out like a pretty regular Wednesday. I headed out to the gym and got home at my usual time. My routine is to walk in the door, wash my hands and sit down at the computer with a cup of coffee for about ten minutes before waking up the kids. You can imagine my surprise when I walked in and saw the contents from our junk drawer spread all over the kitchen floor. This was quickly followed by the pitter patter of little feet and an exclamation of "Hi, Mommy!" from my younger son (YS). He was wearing only a pajama shirt and eating Oreo cookies while scratching "himself." He's never gone downstairs by himself before today. Guess who's getting the safety doorknob put back on his doorknob?

I woke up my older son (OS), got both boys ready and had them sit down for breakfast. That's when I noticed that there was a bloody, pus and wax discharge coming out of OS's ear. It reeked. Seriously, it's been years since he's had an ear infection. After he finished picking at his breakfast, I put both boys in front of a movie as a special treat and went to call the doctor.

Our kitchen opens up into our living room. While I can see most of the room, I can see neither a large chair in the corner nor the kid's chair behind it where YS likes to sit when he watches TV. You can imagine my surprise when I turned around while on hold with the doctor's office and saw YS grinning proudly and announcing that he was a cat. I should clarify that he used my makeup to make himself a cat! Yes, he had used my mascara to draw whiskers, my eyeshadow for the nose, and my eyeliner I believe to draw the whiskers cats have above their eyes on his forehead. When I went upstairs I found that I had accidentaly left my makeup out in the bathroom. The mascara wand was in the concealer tube, and the concealor wand was in the mascara tube.

Y'S the cat than went off to watch the movie. I finally got through to the the doctor's office and was able to make an appointment. Then I scrubbed YS's face and, oddly enough, his arms which he had also done up (fur maybe?) and informed him that I needed to be able to see him for the rest of the day.

We went to the doctor's office. The nurse practitioner confirmed that OS had an ear infection and informed me that same infection likely caused OS's vomitting the other night. It's been years since he's had one. However, the eartubes that he got when he was 20 months old fell out, and she believes that there was a tiny hold left behind. This is apparently pretty common, and it tends to just heal on its own. OS was given the green light to not wear ear plugs anymore. Perhaps a little bath water got in there and caused the infection. OS doesn't ever run fevers with ear infections, and they never seem to bother him. In fact, even though his ear was weeping, it didn't hurt him at all.

The kids and I went to CVS where they insisted on playing musical chairs to a tune that was apparently in their own heads while the prescription was being filled. Since the store was empty, I just did the reasonable thing and pretended I had no idea who they were. We headed back home. The afternoon was fine except that YS commented a few times that he was cold.

I had planned on riding my bike this evening. I haven't been on it much this year, and my first triathlon of the season is on Sunday. The other night, I was pedaling up a hill past a parked car, when the chain popped off. I lost all momentum and barely got one foot out of the clipless pedals in time to avoid a fall. That's when I noticed my audience. Two teenagers in the parked car were making out.

When I took my bike in to the place where I had bought it for repairs, the store owner told me I wouldn't have any more problems with it. I was anxious to get out the door, but just when everything was ready, YS suddenly got sick everywhere. Guess OS had a bug after all. The Big Giraffe and I got him cleaned off and settled. Then I hit the streets to do a quick test of my fixed bike. You can imagine my surprise when I was going up a hill again, and all of a sudden the chain popped off again. Deja-vu. At least this time I didn't have an audience.

I'm sure you have a couple of questions. Let me answer them. Yes, I did take a picture of YS the cat. Yes, I did throw out the one remaining Oreo cookie. Yes, my kids did fight over the fact that I gave YS OS's custom designed barf bowl from yesterday since I was too tired to go downstairs to grab another container. Yes, I do have a fear that on Sunday my chain will pop off at the same time that I come down with the stomach flu. No, I'm not too worried about it happening in front of two teenagers making out. I'm worried about it happening in front of a couple hundred people!

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Real life sometimes is better than fiction; particularly when it happens to someone you know in real life and not yourself!

* I wrote this a couple days ago but didn't get to publish it before I came down with a horrible case of the stomach flu that involved my doctor calling in a prescription for me.

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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.

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