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Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Good Aniexty Attack

When I was a kid, I used to think about what it would be like when someday I had kids. Not surprisingly, I plugged my future family into my current life; my kids would go to my school, I would shop at my grocery store, and my kids would swim at the community pool and beach where I swam.

Do you ever get the feeling that you're just playing house? That the real parents will walk in the door soon? There's a small part of me that has always felt this. This is the same part of me that can't believe the my doctors are talking to me about getting a mammogram or needing glasses in a few years as I approach middle age. Just throw in a conversation or two about Depends while you're at why don't you?

I recognized a few faces at last week's town kindergarten meeting and began talking until the meeting started. At one point during the meeting, the superintendent-elect encouraged us to take a good look around at the people in the room because we would be seeing them over and over for the next 13 years as our kids go through school together. He then took a break so we could introduce ourselves to our neighbors. As I looked around the room I could feel myself starting to tense up.

If you would have told me 10 years ago that I would feel like this, I would have jumped to one conclusion: in the 8 years I have lived in my town I wouldn't have made any friends. In fact quite the opposite is true. As I looked around the room, I realized that I knew a lot of people there. Between my moms group, the Y, EI playgroup and various other baby/toddlers classes I have taken, I have really met a lot of people in my community. In fact, this week I've had at least three people whom I hadn't seen come up to me to say that they saw me from the back of the room. This is really a good thing. How wonderful is it to actually know people in your community? Isn't this exactly what I always wanted?

One of the moms whom I already knew even asked me to get involved with the PTO. I of course said I would. Again, it's exactly what I wanted. I guess what caused my good aniexty attack if you will, is that I realized for the first time that this my life. I'm not just passing through on my way to something else. Of course this is a good thing, but it's also a little bit scary at the same time. It's only scary though because it's different from what I thought it would be. Of course the Big Giraffe and I can always move, and just because we're here now doesn't mean we have to be here forever, but we have chosen a life path, and that path will always be different from the road that I expected.

Robert Frost's Lesson Learned: I tool the road less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

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posted by Alex Elliot @ 4:27 PM   1 comments
1 Comments:

  • At 3/28/2009 9:20 AM, Blogger Goofball said…

    A community gives me a feeling of "home" when I start seeing familiar faces when doing grocery shopping or so and when I can bump into a friend. I find that very important.

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.

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