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Sunday, February 08, 2009

My Boob Massage

Yesterday my moms group had spa day at a local spa. For my birthday the Big Giraffe (BG) got me a gift certificate there to have a hot rock massage. I was pretty excited about it. I had one about 4 years ago, and it was fantastic.

Unfortunately the only available time slot was 1:15 pm, but, since my group was going to be there from 9am-2pm, I figured I could just get there earlier and hang out before my appointment. By the time I arrived, most people had already had their services and talked about them. Someone brought up being asked if she wanted her chest and abs massaged. She had said no because she was uncomfortable about not being covered with the sheet. I thought she meant her abs. I knew about that kind of mistake from my earliest experience with a massage.

I got my first massage when I was 18 and a senior in high school. I had no idea that you weren't supposed to wear underwear until my friend and I showed up. She said she was having her period and was averse to tampons, so her masseuse said she could wear her bikini bottoms. I too said I had my period and couldn't wear tampons, even though that wasn't true. This is particularly funny because we shared a locker on the swim team and had a giant box of tampons in our locker. I decided that my "period" meant I also needed to wear my bikini top in addition to the bottoms. In hindsight, I am surprised that the masseuse acted like my reasoning for wearing the top, "Uh, my period?" was totally logical. Or she thought I was an immature whack job, which would be my guess. My second massage was a gift from the BG for my 23rd birthday. This time I also said I had my period even thought that wasn't true and wore my underwear. No top though.

By the time I had my third massage, I stopped claiming that I am having my period, and I went appropriately attired (or not attired). I did keep the sheet practically glued to my body. A couple massages later, and I now act like a massage veteran. After all, now that I've gone through labor and have massive stretch marks, I don't care as much. I'm modest but I'm not going to jump in a locker if someone sees my changing at the Y.

With all that in mind, when the masseuse asked me if I wanted a chest and ab massage, I thought why not. Why not because for some bizarre reason I thought that there would be... oh I don't know...a SHEET to cover my nipples. You can then imagine my surprise when I suddenly felt a cool breeze on my chest. Yes, I was half nude in front of the masseuse. The obvious thought came into my mind: I should have worn my bikini! Yeah, talk about a horror show there. I've lost a lot of weight, but bikini material I am not! Plus can you imagine his surprise, particularly if I had said "Uh, my period?"

Despite my initial surprise, I was able to relax and even enjoy the massage, and despite BG's suspicions, he didn't really massage my breasts. I shouldn't really criticize the BG; he took the news very well. I think he was a little suspicious of my claim to have grown as a person. Uh, bikini to partially nude? Seems obvious to me. He also looked a little surprised when I mentioned tipping the masseuse and muttered something about the peep show being enough of a tip. He seems to enjoy teasing me about it, which proves that he benefitted from the chest massage as well as I did. (And yes, he keeps insisting that the masseuse benefitted most of all.)

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: A chest and ab massage means that the top half of your body will be naked, including nipple exposure.

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posted by Alex Elliot @ 8:11 PM   5 comments
5 Comments:

  • At 2/09/2009 10:03 AM, Blogger Goofball said…

    I thought you were by definition naked in a spa even when walking from the sauna room to the massage desk or swimming in the pool...at least where I've been so far already. So be warned if you come to Europe! Places can even be gender mixed

     

  • At 2/09/2009 11:57 AM, Blogger Heather said…

    Wow, the only massages I've had were always face down so no exposure that way!

     

  • At 2/09/2009 3:28 PM, Blogger painted maypole said…

    wow, I have never, ever in any massage had them even ASK if I wanted chest and abs done. That is really odd.

     

  • At 2/10/2009 5:33 PM, Blogger skiplovey said…

    Well that sounds a bit um, breezy oh my gosh if I could have a massage right now, covered nipples or not I would totally go for it. I'm sure the masseuse has seen it all before anyway.

     

  • At 2/12/2009 9:59 PM, Blogger Suzanne said…

    Holy crap, you are brave. There is no way I would do that. I don't even like getting a manicure because they massage your hands. I hate when strangers touch me.

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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