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Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Messages I Never Thought I Would Leave

I remember before I was a parent I would sort of shudder when parents talked about their children's bodily functions. Sure, I was happy to enjoy a conversation about pets. Then again I rarely hear pet owners rarely bring up constipation outside of an animal hospital. Or at least not without a lot of euphemisms. Fortunately, animal excrement talk doesn't bother me.

Parents, though, are another matter. It seemed like they could go from talking about what they cooked for Thanksgiving to whether or not their child had "pooped" that day and, if they did, whether or not it was a decent size. I was never going to be like that. Today though I left the following voicemail for a friend who had foolishly volunteered to watch the boys for me this afternoon:

"Hi. I was just calling to confirm the sit for this afternoon. I also wanted to give you a heads up that YS is potty trained. However. . . I'm not sure if he'll tell you when he needs to go to the bathroom. We've never left him with a sitter before. OK that's not true, but not since he has been potty-trained for a time period that's been more than an hour. Since we always try to get him to pee before a sit, it hasn't mattered to a sitter before. When we're out in public, I have him pee on the hour. So far we haven't had any problems. He can hold it for several hours, but this way you shouldn't have to worry. Oh, but he won't say that he wants to try and pee so just announce to him that it's time to pee so that you're not giving him a choice. Then you can ask him if he would rather pee standing up or sitting. He'll say standing up, but at least this way he feels like he's making a choice. I'm hoping he'll poop before we come to your house. I'm leaving you this message because I didn't want to say this all in front of him. See you soon."

I cannot believe I left that message. Yet I would do it again. I did save the best...nugget for when I was dropping the boys off at her house. "I'm really sorry, but the pediatrician put YS on an OTC laxative yesterday and said we really should start it that night. So far nothing's happened, but she said it could take a couple days."

YS if fine, but she said that she tends to recommend laxatives for toddlers who are having constipation during the first couple months of potty training. More importantly to my friend, I did tell her I would give her extra tokens if the laxative took effect while she was watching him! Fortunately there were no accidents, and YS did a great job peeing for her in the toilet. How weird does that sound? Also fortunately, the laxative did finally take effect once we got home, and I have to say I was very impressed that something that size could come out of his little tiny body. The words "kid sized bowling ball" came to mind. Alright I really need to stop now.

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Parents can take voicemail to another level.

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posted by Alex Elliot @ 7:20 PM   5 comments
5 Comments:

  • At 12/03/2008 9:49 PM, Blogger Heather said…

    I know exactly what you mean, right down to the size. My oldest could poop a softball. Yowch.

     

  • At 12/04/2008 3:10 PM, Blogger Kami said…

    I know what you mean! The poop talk seems so strange before you are a parent and then it basically becomes life.

    My oldest used to save it up for days...like 10. You want big? Sometimes I was seriously tempted to photograph it for Guinness. Thankfully I came to me senses before it got out of hand.

     

  • At 12/04/2008 3:37 PM, Blogger Suzanne said…

    Kids or no kids, I always enjoy a good doody story. I must say I am impressed by YS' bowling bowl turd. Nice job!

     

  • At 12/05/2008 1:39 PM, Anonymous Ameda said…

    I completely understand your concern and I loved your article!

     

  • At 12/16/2008 6:53 AM, Blogger Goofball said…

    hehehee, not only did you leave such a voice mail...you also blogged about it :p

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.

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