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Thursday, July 10, 2008

Stranger Danger

In my last post, I mentioned a poor parenting explanation of stranger danger that I recently delivered to my older son (OS). Not one to leave anyone in suspense, I figured it deserved further explanation, particularly since this is reason number million and one why ~~my OS's therapy bills will be higher than my younger son's (YS)~~ it's better to be a second born. Our babysitting ~~cult~~ co-op had a playdate earlier this week. In order to be a member in good standing, you have to attend 4 playdates a year. I've already attended two this year, but since we didn't have anything planned, I figured this was a good time to get ahead. After all, I may have gotten an email or two questioning my status as a member of good standing in past years. I decided to take advantage of the fact we didn't have anything planned and attend. After all, if I hadn't gone to a co-op playdate at a park, I probably would have taken the boys to a park instead. Unfortunately, I would not have taken them to this park. This park is too big to easily keep track of multiple kids.

Since OS is almost 5 and doesn't need to be hanging on my leg every moment, I decided it was time for our first big stranger danger talk. OS and I had participated in a safety class together right after he turned three, but I am not sure how much he got of it. I still remembered all of the lines, so I reminded him that he could play anywhere within the fenced in area of the park, but he was not allowed to go outside the fence. If someone asked him to come outside the fence, he needed to "always ask Mommy first." Yes, I was a star pupil!

Unfortunately I am apparently just not a stellar mom because the next part of the conversation did not go as planned. OS wanted to know why someone would ask him to go outside the fence. I explained that there were "bad adults." I said that a stranger might ask him to help him find a lost dog or offer him candy. OS looked frightened and promptly burst into tears. Various expletives starting running relay races through my mind over and over again. I reassured him that all he had to do was make sure that he always asked me before leaving. I also told him to make sure he was always able to see me; if he couldn't see me, there's a good chance I couldn't see him. Needless to say, OS spent the night in our bed.

The next day as we were driving to the park, OS craned his head looking out the window. When I asked him what he was doing he told me he was looking for the lost dog. Great. Again I explained that there was no lost dog. More importantly, I told him that good grownups do not ask kids to help find lost dogs; they call the dog officer. OS knows our town's animal control officer, so that seemed to make sense to him. During the playgroup, Sally HP suggested that I might want to distract OS for a moment. From what? Well, there was a creepy old guy walking two dogs right near the fence. Visions of OS moving into my room permanently flashed through my head. Yes, YS you do have it made. Hmm...on second thought maybe not. Who knows what OS will tell YS?

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: There is a fine line between warning and terrifying children.

Labels: From the Mouths of Babes, Humor (at least Attempted), Outings and Playgroups

posted by Alex Elliot @ 4:47 PM 5 comments

5 Comments:

At 7/10/2008 10:45 PM, Heather said…

Niiice. I have similar results with my attempts at being a responsible parent.
At 7/11/2008 7:47 AM, Whirlwind said…

You know, I don't ever remember talking to my kids about strangers, however....

In passing, I've said "hi" or "thank you" to strangers who hold a door, etc (yes even in New England, it's happened quite a bit for me). Moe has taken to asking me, "who was that?". When I tell her I don't know, I always get a lecture on how I shouldn't talk to people I don't know. Hum, maybe that's why New Englander's are stuck up, they're just afraid of talking to strangers....
At 7/11/2008 10:23 AM, FishyGirl said…

I screwed this all up royally when I did it the first go round, but thankfully the TV saved me with my second and subsequent kids. There is a DVD done by John Walsh and Julie Clark (the baby einstein lady) called Stranger Safety and it is goofy and quirky and I think takes the proper tone. The commercials made my older son BEG for this video, and it is great. Now all I have to do is ask "Who is your Safe-Side Adult" or "Did you check your safe circle" and they know what I'm talking about. You might want to check it out - if your libraries are any good they should have it. I'd send you mine but I need it for a few more years til the baby is old enough.
At 7/11/2008 1:06 PM, Jen of A2eatwrite said…

We still are back and forth on this one and DS is 15...
At 7/11/2008 4:11 PM, Suzanne said…

Husband and I laughed aloud multiple times at this.

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Name:	Alex Elliot
Home:	MA, United States
About Me:	Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.

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