I attended a new moms group when my older son (OS) was just a few weeks old. This group met for 4 weeks and was run by a facilitator named Rosemary who had been doing it for many years. After we initially introduced ourselves and our babies, Rosemary had each woman tell the story of her baby's birth. We each got the group's undivided attention and could take all the time we wanted.
Childbirth like many women's issues is a funny phenomenon in our society. It's a rite of passage. However, it's a rite of passage that we aren't really encouraged to talk about. Sure when you get together with a group of other moms we might tell parts of the stories, but my experience has been that usually moms all jump in and share their experiences too. Hence it becomes a conversation. And yes, many times I'm the mom who jumps in on the conversation. After the inital phone calls to family and friends, it does seem like we don't have that chance to have undivided attention about something that was a major event to us all. Sometimes even those phone calls are interrupted or we may realize later that we didn't say everything we wanted to say. This is why Rosemary had us tell our stories. We had the opportunity to have the spotlight on us and have a listening audience who gave us their undivided attention.
A couple weeks ago I was talking to a friend of mine about giving birth to my younger son. I happened to mention that my brand-new shoes were stolen while I was in the operating room having my c-section. Apparently this isn't the first time that shoes have been stolen at that hospital. I was surprised that I hadn't mentioned it to her before, just because it is a funny part of my own birth story. Alright it wasn't so funny when it happened or when my husband had to find a pair of shoes for me to wear home since I didn't have any. It occurred to me that because I wasn't a new mom when I had YS and therefore wasn't in a news moms group, I never got the chance to tell my birth story for my second son.
In honor of YS's 2nd birthday on June 21, I am holding a Happy Birth Days Carnival. I'm encouraging anyone who wants to participate to share your birth day stories. It can be for any child. It can be a birth or it can be an adoption. It can be the birth of your grandchildren, your nieces, or your nephews. It's up to you. Our stories are all different. Some are sheer happiness, some are pain and happiness, some are funny and some are sad. We all have stories though.
Here's how it works. On June 21 I will put up my birth day post and I'll include a Mr. Linky at the bottom of it. The carnival will be open for a full week. At the end of the week, I will use random.org to draw two gift certificates for $10 each to your choice of Dunkin Donuts or Starbucks. You can mentally picture yourself enjoying a cup of coffee and a good pastry on me while all of us in the blogosphere are sitting on virtual couches in a coffee shop reflecting on the birth story that you've shared. Please email me if you are considering participating and would like the code for the button.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: No matter how many children we have, every child has their own special birth day story.
It's been called to my attention that many people have had a problem leaving comments on my blog for the past week or so. If you've had problems with this, please email me at alexelliot at flexibleparenting.com I'm trying to figure out exactly what is happening.
Labels: Blogging Flexibly