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Monday, May 26, 2008

The Importance of Having Friends

Last night I had a great conversation with my aunt. We spent a while catching up on what was going on with us: her daughter's new house, the boys, my triathlon etc. Eventually we got on the topic of relationships. She reminded me of a piece of wisdom that she has shared with me before: Friendships are not just important just for themselves, but they are also the foundation for relationships with significant others later on in life.

My aunt has two daughters so she was speaking from a female perspective. Her point was that women don't learn how to be a friend from our boyfriends. We learn how to be a friend from our girlfriends. Through our girlfriends we learn how to care for another person and through our girlfriends we learn what it means to have a relationship whether through helping a friend move or being there for a friend crying over a broken heart. We learn how to disagree and still care about each other from our girlfriends. We also learn to take and give constructive criticism from our girlfriends. In fact, when a relationship ends with a boyfriend, we learn so much in that time between from our girlfriends that we go into the next relationship not just with new knowledge and insight from the relationship that ended, but from the cups of coffee and late night phone calls we've had with our girlfriends. In that way, when we are ready to be in a serious relationship with a significant other, we have laid down a really good foundation because our significant others are really our best friends.

My Aunt's Lesson Learned: Friendships are not just important just for themselves, but they are also the foundation for relationships with significant others later on in life.


Be sure to check out my Memorial Day post over at Just Cause.

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posted by Alex Elliot @ 6:38 PM   3 comments
3 Comments:
  • At 5/27/2008 9:08 AM, Blogger Jen of A2eatwrite said…

    I think part of this, too, is that women tend to be more able to communicate, be empathetic, etc. I'm not meaning to be sexist, just repeating current research, etc.

     
  • At 5/27/2008 9:17 AM, Blogger Count Mockula said…

    I think that's very true. And many of those late-night conversations are with friends who'll be honest with us about our behavior in those relationships as well. We can learn from that.

     
  • At 5/28/2008 10:43 PM, Anonymous Suzanne said…

    Seriously, I don't know what I would do without my friends. I need them as much as I need my hubby, and when a few of them moved out of NYC in the past few years, I was just devastated. And still am. I'm just so lucky to have friends like you, and I often think about how much I would love it if I lived closer to you. I'm so looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks.

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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