1. The people at the triathlon were amazing and not just with sports. They went out of there way to help my training buddy and me get set up and comfortable at the triathlon. This was especially important as we were complete disasters. I wasn't even sure where to go and check in.


2. The teenager who tells you to pull down your pants isn't trying to get fresh with you. It's because both your arms and both your quads will be marked with your bib number. Your right calf is marked with your age. This is important because it will ensure that when someone with the number "16" whizzes by on a bike, you will remember that an entire local high school swim team is competing. I could have sworn I saw someone with the number "85" whiz by too.


3. When you realize that you have a really low bib number (or race seeding or start position) and that everyone else whose number is close to yours looks like they've competed in an Ironman, don't freak out. For a lot of triathletes, and I mean a lot, swimming is the hardest of the three sports. In this particular triathlon, your bib number was based on your swim registration time.


4. If you can't figure out when you're supposed to swim, hanging out by the pool seems like a good idea. If you have a low bib number, you'll need to be there right at the beginning anyhow.


5. Cell phones are a good idea for when you realize that your low bib number means a start time an hour early than predicted and thus a likely end time an hour earlier than you asked your husband to arrive at the race.


6. I still have no idea how you know when to start swimming if you're waiting outside of the pool area.


7. The announcement that you need to run over the "time pad" that records that you have finished your swim which is "located under the maple tree" after you finish the swim is only helpful if you live in a place like Arizona where there are few trees. It is less useful in a place like Massachusetts which has a lot of indistinguishable maple trees. The announcement should really have been " People will yell at you when you leave the pool. Follow their screams."


8. When you are struggling to make sure your bike helmet is safely clipped, don't forget about your other equipment. For example, if you hypothetically laid your gear on your towel in the order in which it is needed, just like all the triathlon books recommend, it is still possible to accidentally bypass your biking shoes and put on your running shoes when you are about to get on your bicycle.


9. If you hypothetically were to end up on a bicycle wearing running shoes, rest assured that it is apparently possible (though uncomfortable and more challenging) to pedal with your gym shoes on clipless pedals. There just may have been someone who has tested it out. The silver lining is that such an individual would have the world's fastest transition from biking to running since that individual would not have to change shoes.


10. Make a mental note to not "dis" the serious bikers who clipped their shoes into their bikes before the swimming even started. If you too had done that, you wouldn't have put the wrong shoes on for biking. You may have toppled over trying to simultaneously mount your bike and get your shoes on, but you would have landed on the ground wearing the right shoes.


11. If you find that your hands are cramping during the running leg, check to make sure that you're not still wearing your biking gloves. If you are, shove them down the bra of your tri suit. Don't worry about forgetting that they are there; you will remember them when you notice them in all of the photos taken after the race.


12. The sport that you think will be the hardest, will probably be the easiest. After all my worrying about running, it turned out to be the easiest part for me. On the other hand, during the swimming I ended up in the middle of a six person pile up. Then someone pulled me under her and tried to swim over me.


13. Man these triathlons are addictive! Allow time after your first triathlon to search the internet for more triathlons in which to compete. Then you can email your friends to join you.

Labels: Exercise and Fitness, Humor (at least Attempted), Mom-Care