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Sunday, February 03, 2008

A Funeral, A Plane Ride and Back Home Again

Saturday was my great aunt's funeral. The nicest aspect of the wake and funeral, was that it was exactly what she had wanted. To me, that's all that really matters. While there were parts of both that I was uncomfortable with, I know that the event was about her and not me.

Since I was a pallbearer, we had to be there pretty early. Our older son (OS) came with me to pay respects to Aunt Julie. I was impressed with how well he did. A short while later, the funeral director led everyone in prayers. It was very quick.

The rest of the "white glove club," which consisted of my brother and cousins, and I had our duties to attend to, so the Big Giraffe was solely in charge of the boys. We had agreed ahead of time that if we thought for whatever reason that they wouldn't be comfortable with the funeral, he would leave with them. I wasn't surprised later in the church when I didn't see them. I had heard some laughter at the beginning, but apparently the Big Giraffe took them out the car where they were much happier. Again, the service was really quick, although apparently the Big Giraffe had not felt time was passing quickly enough when he had the boys in the back of the church.

They stayed in the car too when we went to the cemetery. This was actually one part of the event with which I was uncomfortable. I personally didn't want the boys to come in the mausoleum where Aunt Julie was going to be buried. This type of mausoleum has many wings each filled with the remains of different families. The coffins are placed in a drawer, and the drawer is sealed. A plaque with the name and critical dates is placed on the "drawer." I have terrible memories of this place from when I was around OS's age. I remember thinking it was incredibly creepy that people were buried in the walls. Since my great aunt Val had already announced that she wanted everyone to tour the mausoleum, I thought it was better for the boys to avoid the whole situation. I know, I know...just because I was scared of something as a child doesn't mean my sons will be. By the same token, it still wasn't something that the Big Giraffe and I were prepared for our children to experience yet. Frankly I didn't see any benefit to them or to anyone else for having them there. Plus anytime I'm agitated or uncomfortable, the boys unsurprisingly pick up on it. The Big Giraffe had no angst about spending another fifteen minutes in the car with the them.

The festivities ended with a family gathering, lunch at a restaurant called New Warsaw (although my cousin and I swear it used to be Old Warsaw). My family is Polish. This is where we always gathered for family reunions. My cousins and I all dislike it because it gives us really bad gas (and sometimes more than gas) because we're not used to eating authentic Polish food. My parents and aunts and uncles all love it. So does the Big Giraffe. I was just grateful that I didn't have to get on an airplane with him and the boys, who also really enjoyed it, afterwards. I had been calling the place Old Diarrhea, but I guess I'll have to start calling it New Diarrhea. The Big Giraffe said it gives new meaning to Chicago's nickname Windy City. Plus, you also get charged $2 if you waste food by not finishing the food on your plate. (We didn't actually see this happen, but they have signs all around the buffet describing the policy.)

We had a pleasant flight home. In fact it was the smoothest flight we have ever had with the boys, in turn leading to a relatively calm and peaceful airport experience back in Providence. Tomorrow we will be back to our usual routine.

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Wasting food may be costly.

Labels: Food (Solid), Milestones, Travel

posted by Alex Elliot @ 9:15 PM 8 comments

8 Comments:

At 2/04/2008 8:55 AM, Suzanne said…

If you are talking about the place on Milwaukee Ave, it did used to be called Old Warsaw. Man, I loved that place. I haven't been there in ages.
At 2/04/2008 9:18 AM, Alex Elliot said…

This one is one Archer. Did they have they have signs up saying you would be charged $2 for wasting food?
At 2/04/2008 10:48 AM, Heather said…

You are smart to follow your instincts on what is appropriate for your kids.
At 2/04/2008 12:15 PM, cablegirl said…

I think it's always a good idea to go with your gut when it comes to how to deal with your children in all circumstances. I'm glad your Great Aunt got the wake/funeral she would have wanted.
At 2/04/2008 1:29 PM, Lizzy in the Burbs said…

Hi, Alex!

Sounds like you and I had very similar weekends! We had a wake and funeral also, not a family member of mine, but of a close friend. It is so hard with kids, knowing what to do and trying to anticipate their reactions. My youngest is 12, and he asked my husband and I if it would be alright if he didn't have to go up to the front to view the deceased. We told him that was absolutely fine. I was really proud of him, he gave his condolences and shook hands, etc. I guess the only way they learn these things is to experience them. So sorry about your Aunt Julie. It's too bad you weren't in Chicago for a happier occasion, we could have met up for a drink! I surely needed one this weekend as I suspect you did too!

Lizzy
At 2/04/2008 2:25 PM, PunditMom said…

Hmmmm. A wasted food penalty. Maybe we could reverse that and somehow penalize restaurants for giving us too much food??
At 2/04/2008 8:35 PM, Jen of A2eatwrite said…

I'm glad you all made it safely home!
At 2/05/2008 9:41 AM, soccer mom in denial said…

I just love how you and BG respect the kids and talk through expectations, needs, etc. And you were right to let the boys miss the internment. It is still a scary idea to grown-ups!

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Name:	Alex Elliot
Home:	MA, United States
About Me:	Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 4.5 year old and a 2 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.

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