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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Blog for Choice

This is actually my post from last year's Blog for Choice Day. No, I'm not copping out; I'm reusing it because in the year since I wrote it, I would not change anything. However, before I get to it, I do have a little bit to add...

There are many issues in life about which I have changed my mind over time. In fact, while some of my views have stayed the same, I'm hard pressed to find many where they held firm because I truly believe in them, rather than because I haven't taken the time to re-evaluate my position. I have been pro-choice since since the day my friend Kim's mom drove us to swim practice and Kim explained why she was writing a paper on being pro-choice. Despite that fact that I was in Catholic school at the time, her views clicked with me. As I have gotten older, done my own research, and especially since I have become a mother myself, my views have only gotten stronger.

A few people pointed out to me last year that abortion restrictions only affect lower income women. Abortion gets disguised as a D&C for the women who can afford it. In other words, abortion restrictions would never affect me. That argument infuriates me for several reasons. First, I do not believe women's rights to their own body should be based on the amount money that we have. Second, although I am trying my best to nurture honest and open relationships with my sons so that they will feel that they can tell my husband or me anything, there's no guarantee that they will. We've set up "safe adults" who are close friends of ours that our sons can go to for help and guidance knowing that whatever they say and whatever help they receive will be kept between them and the safe adults. We are also already starting to have open conversations about sex in the hope that they understand our feelings about sex, love, maturity and most of all being safe. However, I can't live my sons' lives for them. If an unwanted pregnancy occurred, I would want my children and their significant others to have the full range of options, and for each of those options to be safe and easily accessible. In this way, this choice does very much affect me. Finally, it is very easy to dismiss small restrictions as irrelevant. There is no way to say where a trend against choice will end, and those who overlook restrictions who only affect others may end up reacting too late when the logic behind those restrictions is applied to take their own rights away.

We are at a crossroads. President Bush's appointments have had a significant impact on the composition of the Federal Courts, including the Supreme Court. These newly appointed judges are hacking away at many of our basic liberties, including free choice. I don't agree with everything that any politician stands for. However, any act of legislation may be reversed the next year, but the impact of a life-time judicial appointment may last for decades. That is why my pro-choice beliefs impact my vote. Now here is my post from last year explaining why I am pro-choice.

As a participant in the Blog for Choice Day, I'm telling my readers why I'm pro-choice. Ultimately, I am pro-choice because I do not believe the government has the right to tell women (or men) what to do with their bodies. Our country is founded on the ideology that there is separation between church and state. As such I do not feel that someone's personal religious beliefs should dictate what another person does. In fact, it outrages me that I even need to defend this point of view, because it really should be no one else's business.

On a more personal note, I have never had an abortion. However, I have been pregnant twice. Both times were planned pregnancies, and I was ecstatic to be pregnant. Despite the fact that I wanted to be pregnant, it really took a toll on my body. And I didn't have that difficult a pregnancy! As hard as it was on me, I know women who've had worse pregnancies, where they've had to be on bed rest for months. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be forced to go through this. I also cannot imagine what it would be like if I were having a baby that I did not want for whatever reason.

Yes, someone can choose to give the baby up for adoption (after undergoing the physical challenges of pregnancy). How likely is that though for a married woman who finds out that there's something wrong with the baby that she's carrying? I hear a lot of pregnant women saying that no matter what the different pregnancy tests show, they would never have an abortion. I have a lot of respect for that viewpoint, but I often wonder about the many pregnant women whom I don't hear saying that. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be in that situation, to be told that there was a serious problem with a wanted pregnancy. I can only imagine what pain those parents must be in. I do know one thing: they do not need me to judge them.

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: "People may need to defend their rights, but they do not need to justify the exercise of those rights."

Labels: Feminism, Mom-Care

posted by Alex Elliot @ 7:06 PM 7 comments

7 Comments:

At 1/22/2008 9:02 PM, Jen of A2eatwrite said…

I didn't even know about this movement, but I'm right there with you. I'm not sure I could handle having an abortion, but that is my choice, and I think women must have the right to decide what they need to do for their lives and bodies.
At 1/22/2008 9:06 PM, Erin - ExpectingExecutive said…

Thank you.
At 1/22/2008 11:02 PM, Suzanne said…

Rock on.
At 1/23/2008 3:54 PM, WkSocMom said…

Hear hear. My sister says she's not so worried about abortion rights as she would never need one, since she's likely not able to get pregnant. I would be estatic to get pregnant again and again. This reasoning scares me - as much as I am all about thinking of yourself, it's about all women's rights, not your own personal needs.
At 1/23/2008 7:16 PM, Worker Mommy said…

Very well said and i agree 100%!
At 1/24/2008 12:11 AM, Nora Bee said…

Go you!
At 1/26/2008 4:26 PM, cablegirl said…

Great post. I agree with you 100%.

I've often said that I am pro-choice in all forms that it might take. I've said this to women who have told me they didn't want to talk about their birth decisions because I had an unmedicated, midwife assisted birth. I've said this every time I've ever gotten into a discussion with a woman about breastfeeding versus bottle feeding. A woman's body is her own. No one, not family,not friends, not the government should have the right to tell me what I can do with mine.

As a side note, whenever I see the "Choose Life" bumper stickers which are oh so prevalent down here, I have to fight the nearly overwhelming desire to grab a big marker and underline, no double underline the word "choose"!

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Name:	Alex Elliot
Home:	MA, United States
About Me:	Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.

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