I've never been into baking. What a shocker, huh? It's something that I did from time to time growing up, usually around the holiday season, but not ever something that I wanted to do on a frequent basis. Actually, I'm honestly always a little surprised by my reluctance to bake because my favorite classes in my post-BA program were the labs. I just loved them. I loved following all the directions and having to be precise and accurate. I eagerly anticipated the final product from the experiment. I even enjoyed eating the final product writing up the labs. What can I say? I'm a geek.
I always want to enjoy baking more than I do. Of course this time of year I had images of my family and me curled up under a blanket by the fireplace nibbling on cookies and gently sipping hot chocolate while peacefully watching the snow fall outside. Yeah, I know again with the fireplace that we don't own. I decided to continue my campaign ignoring my lack of fireplace and begin one campaign to ignore the fact that nibbling on cookies is ludicrous when you can take big bites out of them or eat them whole and another campaign to ignore that fact that my 17 month old doesn't drink hot chocolate. Why spoil the dream? I thought it would be fun to participate in my moms group cookie exchange. That would be perfect because in exchange for whatever eight dozen cookies I baked at home, I would come home with eight dozen cookies of many varieties. Now we could be curled up under a blanket (delivered by our fully recovered and magically clean golden retriever) by the imaginary fireplace while daintily choosing the cookie of our pleasure and of course sipping hot chocolate while peacefully watching the snow fall outside. This was even better than what I first imagined! With such a dream, I would have agreed to participate in the cookie exchange even if I didn't do spinning class with the hostess.
So what cookies to choose? Of course there is nothing better than the cookies my mom and I used to make every year for my advisory's mother/daughter cookie exchange. (For my fellow New Englanders, an advisory is what we called our homeroom in the Midwest.) In fact I've made these cookies a couple of times since living out here. They come out well, and they look fancy creating the impression that I'm an expert baker. Alright, maybe expert is a bit of an exaggeration, but I have gotten a bunch of compliments on them in the past from people who have no reason to lie to me. I immediately signed up to bring them. They're spritz sandwich cookies with a layer of raspberry jam in the middle and one end dipped in semi-sweet chocolate and rolled in nuts.
When I shared this plan with my mother, she thought it sounded great. She even gave me some important tips:
Don't swear at the cookies
Be patient with the cookies or they'll break when I spread the jam
If I fail at the above two items, enlist the help of the Big Giraffe (or possibly the senior citizens who always walk in front of my house at noon. I didn't share this thought with her or with the senior citizens)
I felt confident in my ability to recruit other people to make cookies for me to make my cookies. Then I casually asked how many cookies come from one batch of the recipe. It only makes two dozen because they're sandwich cookies. Two dozen!!! I need eight dozen cookies, or again since these are sandwich cookies, sixteen dozen pieces.!!!!! This brought on much laughter, then and whenever I have thought about is since. As my mom pointed out, that's what a bakery would make. Did I mention that I only own one cookie sheet?
My new plan:
Use one of the 8,745,331 Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons lying around the house to buy at least one more cookie sheet (preferably two since my current sheet is not even a full sized cookie sheet but rather a small jelly lip sheet; I know this because my friend Betty who truly is a wonderful Betty Crocker type baker identified it for me)
I need to figure out where the my cookie press is. I haven't seen it since remodeling our kitchen two years ago. If I can't find it, I will use another coupon to get one
Shop for ingredients for a new, allegedly fool-proof cookie recipe that makes four to six dozen cookies so I will only have to double the recipe. Here's the best part: I can freeze the rest of the dough so the kids can make homemade cookies later and I can be supermom for one day!
Pretend that the new cookies were my intention all along
In the event that the cookies are a disaster, claim that I made the original cookies which were beautiful and on par with gourmet cookies, but seeing as the kids had diarrea, I didn't want to get anyone sick. No one will question that. Who says lying is always bad? I'll bribe Santa with a nice package of cookies from the store*.
So all is well. Sixteen dozen cookies, hah! That still makes me laugh.
A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Tis the season to be merry and joyous and also tell a little white lie when needed to ensure that you are merry and jolly.
*We're not allowed to bring store bought cookies otherwise I would already be all over that one. I did think of buying cookies and putting them in my own container just like in the book I Don't Know How She Does It.
Oh yeah I totally fell for the cookie exchange thing this year too. And I did bring home a nice fat tupperware full of delicious assorted cookies. Of course coming down with the stomach flu was not part of the plan so I guess I'll be saving the cookies until I'm done being sick. Good luck with the baking!
16 dozen cookies! My daughter's preschool class did an exchange last year (not everyone participated...not me!) and they had to make 11 dozen!
There is no way that I'm making 11 dozen cookies for anything. Plus I'd just eat them all myself anyway and I really don't need to gain any more weight.
Even with 2 cookie sheets that would take forever! There are easier recipes out there. How about chocolate chip cookies using red and green M&M's. Seriously. 16 dozen?
I hate getting involved with anything that involves making a mess and cleaning things up. (I've never lived anywhere with a dishwasher that was not human.) Hence: no baking for me, although once in a while I do enjoy it. (Like, every seven or so years.) A cookie exchange sounds, fun, though. I might be enticed to make a mess for a cookie exchange.
As for advisory, I actually think that our school is one of the only places on the planet to make up such a fancy name for homeroom. Just like forcing us to wear white floor length gowns and white tuxes to graduation, although I just found someone from New Jersey whose public school also had such an obnoxious and costly tradition. (Unlike us, they did not also have to buy their own books for class, though.) The pretension kills me. Wow, I can't believe how worked up I am getting right now. Sorry. I'll stop.
Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment, I love to get comments, especially from new people!
I was just reading some of your posts and laughing (not at you, with you!). You're very funny! Being that I live in a suburb of Chicago I am just a teensy big prejudiced about Chi Town myself, so I can relate! I love living here and it would be really strange for me to start over somewhere else. I give you credit for trying so hard! I have lots of baking to do today for my son's class party on Thursday. You peaked my interest with the recipe for those fancy cookies, they sound delicious, however, I am not the best baker, either, and I think they sound a little out of my league! :) Take care!
Yeah, I'd be coming up with a new plan too. 16 dozen cookies is one thing but then the jam and the chocolate and the nuts. Just buy some at the bakery and call it a day!
You know a real bakery not the one at the grocery store, those are kind of homemade aren't they?
*whispering* nestle's tollhouse chocolate chip cookies - get the place and bake ones from the store - then you and OS can just break them apart and bake them. throw on some random flour in spots, and it looks (and they taste) like you followed the recipe from the chips bag. always gets rave reviews. */whispering*
I was wondering why you didn't just buy those cookies and place them in your own container. I mean, you are just bringing cookies for exchanging - not for a contest!
Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.
Oh yeah I totally fell for the cookie exchange thing this year too. And I did bring home a nice fat tupperware full of delicious assorted cookies. Of course coming down with the stomach flu was not part of the plan so I guess I'll be saving the cookies until I'm done being sick.
Good luck with the baking!