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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Moving On to Another Chapter: One Less Child in Playgroup

Yesterday was a big day for me. I would say it was a big day for my older son (OS) and me, but in reality it really was about me. I could pretend differently, but it's not true. Yesterday was the first time I attended playgroup with just my younger son (YS). OS is now in preschool during playgroup.

When I first had OS, I only knew a couple of people who had kids. Neither of them lived near me. The first couple of weeks with OS were filled with the excitement or really I should say "high" of having a newborn. Then my mom came to visit for 3 weeks. OS was sleeping for a good part of the day like most newborns, and I had someone with whom to talk, go to lunch, and go shopping. I had someone to whom I could show off OS. What could be better?

After three weeks, my mom returned to Chicago. I cried that day. I also cried the last few days leading up to the end of her visit. Who was I going to talk with? Having a baby that slept all day was honestly really boring (although seriously if OS could nap for just a half hour now, my day would be so much better!) I joined a lapsit class at the library. That totally bombed. Our class just didn't gel. Plus everyone was there to hear a story and sing songs so there wasn't really much opportunity to interact.

I also participated in a new moms group through a nearby town's resource center. While I honestly did enjoy going to that group, I felt like I didn't have much in common with most of the other moms, so most of the friendships fizzled out when that group ended. First of all there was breastfeeding, which was obviously one of the hottest topics of conversation for a new moms group. The other moms were positive that they wanted to be stay at home moms while I was in the process of applying to veterinary school. In addition, there were some philisophical differences in our parenting styles. Finally, although this point is minor, I had the only boy in the group.

The only mom who I felt close to and stayed in contact with was Cee. She invited me to join her playgroup when OS was just 3 months old. I was so nervous about it, that I forgot OS's formula AND forgot to bring any money. When another mom insisted on running out to the store to buy us formula, I actually had to borrow money from my mom who happened to be visiting for her to be able to pay for it. Talk about support!

From that day for almost four years, until last week, OS had been part of that playgroup. While I enjoyed that group as soon as I had joined, my appreciation for it has grown the longer I was with it. Cee is the only mom still in the group from when I started. We have had many different moms join and leave over the years, but the structure of the playgroup has always been the same: the kids run around and play and the moms talk. In fact, for about a year and a half, it has been the same group of moms. It has been a wonderful source of support.

Although OS is no longer part of playgroup, I still am. I still will enjoy the same friendship and companionship with other moms, while watching my younger son (YS) play with the other children. However, I have been teary-eyed during the last couple of playgroups. OS doesn't fully realize yet that playgroup is over for him save the holiday breaks (maybe summer as well, although he may also be in the preschool's summer camp extension).

What makes me nostalgic is that this is the first chapter of OS's babyhood that has closed. Yes, he was in preschool last year. But last year preschool did not conflict with playgroup, so he was still part of the group. Now playgroup is over. Maybe this is how parents feel when they their kids start kindergarten and they realize that preschool is truly over. This brings home the fact that his "babyhood" is officially gone. While of course I'm thrilled for him that he's growing up and being able to do new things, there is a part of me that is sad that there won't be anymore playgroups for him. Alright, really there is a part of me that is sad that he's not a baby anymore.

I am happy that YS gets to experience playgroup as an "only child". He absolutely loved it yesterday, because he was not competing with his brother to play with any of the toys. I absolutely loved it too. It's also very different. I know you're not supposed to label kids so I'll just say this: on September 13th, 2007 my younger son is more independent than his brother and thus easier to parent in playgroup. I missed OS though. I started this particular journey in parenthood with him, and it's strange to me that I'm still on this journey while he has moved on.

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: They grow up so quickly.

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posted by Alex Elliot @ 7:05 PM   10 comments
10 Comments:
  • At 9/13/2007 8:26 PM, Blogger Jodi said…

    I too have had a playgroup since Michael was a few months old. Some of the moms have become my closest friends. We have started to dwindle as more kids start pre-school and moms go back to work or have their seconds. It is very sad.

     
  • At 9/14/2007 12:56 AM, Blogger Lady M said…

    That's terrific that your playgroup has continued! I've had to miss our group for a long time now, since I'm in the office during the daytime, but we've just started to hold get-togethers once a month on late Friday afternoons. Wheee, we get to join!

     
  • At 9/14/2007 2:45 AM, Blogger Chantelle said…

    Oh, so bittersweet. We have found a great playgroup here, but sadly we are moving in either January or February. Makes me sad to have to start over again.

     
  • At 9/14/2007 8:52 AM, Blogger Whirlwind said…

    Thats great - we still get togheter with the playgroup that was started 5 years ago when my oldest daughter was a newborn (granted we are all on our third kids). The group has changed over the years but there is still a core of us that have been apart of it for a long time.

    With school starting again (and me sending 2 most of the week) it's been rather odd having just the youngest around.

    My oldest two think that I should stay home when they are at school and get upset if they find out I went to the park or visited a friend.

     
  • At 9/14/2007 1:15 PM, Blogger Worker Mommy said…

    Don't they ever! Pre-school starts for the twins next week.

    How cool that you found a group that you and your children really vibe with though. That can often be hard!

     
  • At 9/14/2007 9:22 PM, Blogger Heather said…

    Yes, that is another sad part of my daughter starting Kindergarten this year. We won't be able to get together with her friends from preschool much anymore. We say we're going to try to continue, but I bet it will be few and far between.

    I have a playdate scheduled for my son next week. It will feel weird to only have him there.

    My Dad and I were just saying the same thing this morning "they're growing up way too fast."

     
  • At 9/14/2007 9:47 PM, Blogger Bananas said…

    They DO grow up so quickly. It's sweet and sad all rolled together.

     
  • At 9/15/2007 10:22 AM, Anonymous pinks & Blues Girls said…

    Such a sweet post, Alex. It must have definitely been bittersweet to be there without OS, knowing that he has moved passed that stage now. They do grow so fast!

    It was so nice to meet you yesterday. Looking forward to getting together at the zoo (and Gregg's!)with Audrey and her boys!

    Jane, Pinks & Blues

     
  • At 9/16/2007 1:56 PM, Blogger Fairly Odd Mother said…

    Yeah, all those steps they take can mean lots of beginnings and endings---I find the endings so hard too.

     
  • At 9/18/2007 1:20 PM, Blogger VDog said…

    Aw!! You're making me all misty!! Dang it!

    (I guess that's payback, huh?)

    They certainly DO grow so quickly, don't they?

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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