Shocking isn't it? Yes, I really did go to a breastfeeding conference today put on by the MA Coalition for Breastfeeding. It was open to doctors, nurses, lactation consultants, public health students, and bloggers. Alright, maybe the literature didn't say bloggers, but Dr. Alison Stuebe invited me to attend after we sparred on the Morning Show with Mike and Juliet.
I have to admit that I went back and forth about going a few times. Dr. Stuebe has said that she thought people would be interested in my ideas and observations from blogging and personal experience about supporting all mothers regardless of their choice. That was definitely a plus. On the other hand, I would be lying if I didn't admit that I was nervous about going for two big reasons 1) I was worried about zealots 2) I wasn't sure if I could emotionally handle it. After all, the benefits of breastfeeding were sources of my feelings of guilt when breastfeeding didn't work out. At the same time, while I don't regret having had breast reduction surgery, I do regret that breastfeeding didn't work for me. Given a second chance, I would still have the surgery.
After waking up and finding my milk had expired (no pun intended) and having to put my younger son's (YS) whole milk in my cereal and coffee, I set out for a commute that I had traveled 5 days a week for two years. It usually took me 40 minutes to an hour. Today it took me over 2 hours. I, along with many other people, was late.
There's so much to say about what I learned that I am going to break it up into a series of posts interspersed with my typical content over the next week. However, what I wanted to focus on in tonight's post was how I felt. Ultimately, I left the conference with the same conviction that got me to the conference - parents need to make sure that their babies are fed.
Even though I was late to the keynote speaker, I walked in on a positive note. The keynote speaker was addressing in passing the fact that the evidence from studies can be conflicting in general. One study will show X and then another study will show that X is not true.
My feelings were less positive when I found myself annoyed and frustrated by a woman who talked about bringing your baby to work so that you really could do it all. The logo on her PowerPoint template depicted a woman breastfeeding while on the computer and on the phone. While I'm sure this is very doable and enjoyable for some women, it made me feel sad. It was just one more way of setting an expectation that mothers to be supermoms. Fortunately my attorney and superfriend Linda (who deserves her own post) got up and challenged supermom. She argued that the real solution would be working with lawyers and state legislatures to get better maternity leave. A lot of people kept coming up to her throughout the day to express their support.
Back on the positive side, I really enjoyed learning about the effects of obesity on a mom's ability to breastfeed and on breastfeeding rates, as well as the effects of breastfeeding on a mom's obesity and a child's obesity. The speaker did a good job explaining why breastfeeding is so important. I thought the studies were well explained, although the answers to my questions about how external factors were controlled left me unconvinced that the evidence truly supported the speaker's original claims. However she did acknowledge the elements of the study that were shaky, although she also seemed annoyed that I had asked the question.
Later on I went to a session on whether or not there really is such a thing as insufficient breastmilk. The speaker had a list of factors that could increase a woman's difficulty in having an adequate milk supply. The list included factors like breast reduction surgery, PCOS, being overweight, having a c-section, and experiencing a high degree of stress. I initially believed that it would have been helpful to know this information before attempting to breastfeed. However after talking to another superfriend and lactation consultant Cee this evening, I came around to her perspective that this sort of knowledged would have been scary and overwhelming. However, I think it is really important for health care providers to be familiar with these factors so that they can discuss them with patients as appropriate. There is a fine line between education and demoralization, particularly since stress, attitude, and confidence all play a role in the success or failure of breastfeeding. Of course, I really really wanted to breastfeed and it obviously didn't work, so a positive attitude isn't everything.
I left the conference on a down note. This was after all a continuing education class for health care providers. However, I felt that one important subject was never broached - at what point do you acknowledge that breastfeeding isn't working the way that the mother would like? At what point do you advise a mother to supplement with or even switch to formula? I was fortunate in that my lactation consultant actually told me it was time to switch exclusively to formula. Her words carried even greater weight because I knew that she was a huge breastfeeding advocate. I therefore really believed that it was time to move on, which was a relief and a gift. The lactation consultant encouraged me to cry and reassured me that it is normal for women who want to breastfeed but can't to feel a sense of loss. When I raised my hand to raise this important point, the speaker ended the session without calling on me.
All in all, I'm really glad I went. I really respect people who try to see an argument from another viewpoint, even if it doesn't change their mind. I also found that there was wide variation among those who attended the conference. Most people seemed to be okay supporting those for whom breastfeeding did not work, even though they were strng advocates for breastfeeding. There were a few commenters whose comments bordered on zealotry. It was also good to be able to speak with Dr. Stuebe without the cameras on. Finally, as someone who always advocates provision of better resources for all moms, I was pleased to participate in a meeting that identified those "resources".
I leave you with 2 Lessons Learned:
- At 4 months it is normal for your baby to reduce the amount of time spent nursing, often causing your breasts to feel less full and thus making it seem as if your milk supply is insufficient, because you are now more efficient at producing the milk your baby need. That said, if you feel like something may be wrong with your milk supply or your baby, contact your doctor or lactation consultant.
- Each mom needs to make the choice that's best for her own baby. Your baby will be fine.
Labels: Breast Reduction Surgery, Breastfeeding, Child Health and Personal Care, Feminism, Mom-Care |
I will never forget my son's neonatologist when he was in the NICU (the same one who had prescribed me Reglan to help my milk come in) turning to be and saying, "You're done."
I guess it was the permission I needed to just let it go. Seventeen days after he was born, I was thrilled to move on and stop pumping. I've never looked back!