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Monday, July 09, 2007

Toilet Paper Baby

I know I've frequently mentioned my older son's (OS) imaginary chinchilla. However, before the chinchilla was 'born", he had an imaginary baby which was cleverly disguised as his right hand. We saw "Baby" for the first time right after our younger son (YS) was born. Baby makes sporadic appearances in our house. Sometimes Baby also wears a dish towel on his head. Other times Baby believes that "bald is beautiful". Many times baby has hair which involves OS holding a bunch of ribbons with his right hand.

I'm okay with Baby. Baby doesn't make any annoying noises or poke YS or Gandalf our dog. Baby doesn't seem to be a mechanism for OS's obnoxious side. Truth be told, I prefer Baby to the chinchilla and okay, sometimes even to OS. Shhh...don't tell anyone. I'm even okay with Baby's hair for the most part; unless of course it's made out of toilet paper. Recently OS has carefully rolled up pieces of toilet paper to make Baby's hair. It's a painstaking process which involves lots of toilet paper, water and one extra special magic ingredient: quiet time so that I don't realize what's happening.

I'm not a fan of TP Baby. I've told OS that I think it's unsanitary (read disgusting) and not to do it anymore. I even bought him some curly ribbons that you put on presents just for Baby's hair. I thought we agreed. I should have remembered that he was 3. Over the weekend when The Big Giraffe was holding down the zoo, I came downstairs to see pieces of what could only be Toilet Paper Baby's hair on the floor. Both the BG and OS told me that there was no TP Baby in sight. It must have been leftover. I actually fell for it.

Hence today when our sink wouldn't drain for the second day in a row, I just assumed it was clogged with hair. I unscrewed the drain plug and pulled out...Toilet Paper Baby Hair! It was so gross because it was partly dissolved and slimy. I couldn't even get all of it out because some of it had wound itself around the piece of plastic where the drain plug normally sits. I had to pull out the big guns and threaten OS. I told him that if I saw Toilet Paper Baby again, he would lose TV privileges. The tears started. I congratulated myself on a job well down until a minute later; that would be when he asked where the tissues were. And no, he didn't want the tissues to wipe his tears.

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Three-year olds can be trusted to be persistent and creative; they can't always be trusted to keep their agreements.

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posted by Alex Elliot @ 8:37 PM   4 comments
4 Comments:

  • At 7/10/2007 3:10 PM, Blogger Suzanne said…

    You are too hilarious. Wow, having kids really requires an amazing sense of humor.

     

  • At 7/10/2007 8:02 PM, Blogger soccer mom in denial said…

    I don't know why I ask my three-year-old if she "promises" to do something. I get the sincere head nod, the earnest look and then in front of me she does exactly what I asked her not to do.

    I don't think they get the concept of promise.

     

  • At 7/10/2007 8:26 PM, Blogger Sour Meg said…

    Oh, I would have been so mad! LOL

     

  • At 7/12/2007 8:09 AM, Blogger Jenn in Holland said…

    Oh, my goodness! That is just hilarious!
    Really. If you don't laugh at these moments, then you'll be crying all the time in motherhood.
    Sorry for the slimy cleanup though.

     
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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 5 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.

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