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Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Giraffe v Jaws: A Guest Post

This post comes courtesy of my husband, the Big Giraffe.

"I watch Mommy Show!" my older son (OS) announced to me excitedly from Alex's lap. "That's very nice, OS" I muttered with questionable sincerity as I glanced past the Lifetime Television for Women logo, overlaying what appeared to be a movie about a goofy looking couple on a boat. I didn't even slow down on my march through the living room to the study.

Soon thereafter, I thought I heard footsteps climbing the steps, but then OS popped into the study. "Daddy, OS needs underwear downstairs." "OS, you are wearing underwear," I replied, after conducting a quick audit. "Okay Daddy," he said and left the room calmly.

Ten minutes later I heard the earshattering shriek from the living room. "Daddy, OS is scared of the whale!" I rushed to see what was going on. Alex was nowhere in sight. OS was pointing with horror to the TV.

While the Lifetime Television for Women logo sitting in the bottom corner of the screen sometimes horrifies me as well, it became quickly apparent that it was not the source of fear for OS. I caught one glimpse of two soaking wet and goofy looking people struggling through turbulent seas to climb onto an awfully small boat. The scene then cut to red-tinged water, followed by a close-up on the gaping maw of a shark. Reacting with the speed and power that can only be mustered by a giraffe whose young are threatened, I lunged forward and took out the shark with a single blow to the TV power switch.

"That was a shark, not a whale, OS," I announced. "Daddy got rid of the shark. It will never come near you."

We then had a lengthy discussion covering subjects like the lack of nearby sharks in Central Massachusetts, the fact that sharks are different from dolphins and whales, and the fact that dolphins will attack sharks to protect people. "Dolphins are OS's favorite," OS declared proudly, as he went to find his stuffed gray dolphin.

When checking in with Alex later, she indicated that she had believed the TV was turned off and that OS was going to stay with me. Neither of us knew that Lifetime Television for Women shows shark movies (not that I will admit to being familiar with their programming). In my experience, shark movies are more typically found on the Discovery channel or Spike TV for Men (which is a channel with whose programming I will claim to be more familiar).

Big Giraffe's Lesson Learned: Beware Lifetime Television for Women. It can terrify the unwary.

OS's Lesson Learned: Despite what New England sports fans (or their apologists like Alex) may claim, dolphins are good.

TV Shark's Lesson Learned: Don't mess with a giraffe.

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Name:Alex Elliot
Home:MA, United States
About Me:Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.

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