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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

The Ivy Towers

I know ivy is supposed to be pretty. When I think of sprawling green ivy, I conjure up images of the Ivy Towers. Keeping in mind that my thumb is anything but green, I really have no idea why this is something that is valued. To me having ivy-free towers would be the way to go. Ivy is a nightmare for me. It has grown on the outside of our house and cracked the wood not to mention the foundation of our house. It has killed a couple of our trees. It has also killed a bunch of our neighbor's bushes.

No matter how hard I try to deal with it every summer (okay knowing how good I am at yard work that's not saying much but at least I do attempt to clear it) it still causes damage. We currently have three "trees" in our yard that are made entirely out of vines. They look just like regular trees with cascading leaves that run down the ground and into the driveway, under the fence etc., and they're much taller than me, but when you part the leaves and go for a closer inspection it's revealed that the "trunk" is a whole knot of vines wrapped around each other. Furthermore, some of the vines have started to develop thorns. I was wearing my leather gardening gloves and they offered me no protection. The thorns pierced right through them.

Our yard has been a source of intrigue, horror and challenge to many of our family and friends. More than one has volunteered their services convinced that they can "fix" our yard only to be completely discouraged and completely sore. These are people who are really good gardeners.

After spending yet another day "gardening", I have a new conclusion about my yard. I now think it is like the scary thicket that grew around Sleeping Beauty's castle ensuring that she would be able to sleep for 100 years (or however long it was.) Just like how many suitors tried to battle the thicket into the castle and wake sleeping beauty and thus win her hand in marriage, friends and family members have tried to battle my garden only to be completely defeated by it. So far no one has proposed to me (since the Big Giraffe who is trapped inside the garden with me), but maybe that will happen when the battle is won.

A. Elliot's Lesson Learned: Blogging about gardening sounds disturbingly sexual.

Labels: Humor (at least Attempted)

posted by Alex Elliot @ 9:38 PM 0 comments

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Name:	Alex Elliot
Home:	MA, United States
About Me:	Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 5 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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