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Thursday, January 25, 2007

The Big Boy Bed

The number one thing that has surprised me about parenting is not how much I love my child, how much babies cry, or the fact that 3 is worse than the terrible twos, but rather how weird parents are (myself included!). For example, I've found there are certain topics that seem to bring out every insecurity that parents have. One of them is potty training. Another is preschool and here's a big one that really threw me for a loop (drum roll, please)...the "big boy" bed.

Yes, it seems that everyone has a different idea of what you should do when you go from the crib (or your bed if you co-sleep) to the next sleeping location. Some swear you should buy a mattress and place it on the floor and then after a pre-determined period of time, buy a frame. Others swear by the toddler bed. Then there's also the group that insists that going right to the twin bed is the sure answer so you don't go through two transitions.

That's not even to mention what size mattress, cheap frame with intention of replacing later vs. a bed that will last until 18, bunk bed, trundle beds, should you do it before night potty training is finished or after, etc. I could go on and on. It would be nice if this much thought would go into other aspects of parenting such as how to teach kids not to be bullies.

So how did I decide?

Well, when I was in a parent group a while back, a bunch of parents who have out of town family talked about how great it was to have full sized beds (or larger) for their kids because that way when company came, the kids slept in sleeping bags and the company had the beds. Good thought. Other parents mentioned that it's nice to be able to lie down next to your kids to read them stories at night or stay there with them when they're sick. Still others mentioned that particularly with boys, you might need to replace a twin bed with a larger bed when the child is a teenager because it will be too short (incidentally, this happened to one of my childhood best friends in high school. Her feet hung off the end of the bed by a lot.)

Most of our out of town guests, whether family or friends, seem to come in groups of 3, consisting of one couple and one single person. I think it's safe to say that none of our single friends have slept in a single bed since they were in dorms in college. While we do have a guest bed, the thought of having a spare "guest bed" is nice even though my husband is opposed to the idea of kicking our kids out of their own beds. Mostly though, I just liked the extra room that a full size bed offers (I think it's an additional 3 inches on each side compared to a twin). It wasn't that much more expensive to get a full (certainly less than getting a twin and later replacing it with a full). I wanted a bed that OS could use until he goes off to college. If that doesn't happen for whatever reason, that's okay too.

I probably too have some insecurities that went into making this decision for my son. To those of you that I see in person, I'm sure the decision you made for your child was right. See, that's how weird this whole bed thing is: I'm apologizing over a bed!!!!

Labels: Toys / Clothes / Gear

posted by Alex Elliot @ 8:24 PM 3 comments

3 Comments:

At 1/26/2007 3:49 PM, Cori said…

Hello, thanks for stopping by dear Partner, I sent you an email regarding the Blog Exchange.

We bought a single mattress and Al made a box frame out of simple MDF and we put some legs on it, Matt just seem too small to go into a full size bed. However, we just moved and no longer have a guest room so we put the full size in his room and are saving the twim for Cam. Like you I want something that will last although I heard that you really shouldn't keep your bed for too long, I guess there is a cootie build up factor. Gross I know. So even if you buy a bigger bed it may have to be replaced before college. Good luck in whatever you decide.
At 1/27/2007 12:47 PM, Grandma Grandpa said…

I agree with DH about kicking someone out of their bed for a guest. That is so very unfair because no one would think of kicking mommy and daddy out of their bed for a guest. I find it odd that people would have such strong opinions about big boy beds. OS is very lucky that his parents care so much about his opinion, even at 3 years old.
At 1/28/2007 10:07 AM, Anonymous said…

So, does he like it? If he does, then you certainly don't need to apologize to anyone else.
-J

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Name:	Alex Elliot
Home:	MA, United States
About Me:	Professional Mom of two cats, a dog, an ant farm, and oh yeah...two boys: a 6 year old and a 3 year old. Also found in my house is my husband who is known on this blog as The Big Giraffe.
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For those of us who didn't get an instruction manual with our babies and for whom parenting hasn't always gone as planned. On a more serious note this blog is about supporting a woman's ability to make her own choices about parenting including the choice, for whatever reason, to bottle feed her babies formula.

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